


Zha'Lafi

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 19:04:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 40,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: William returns from the past.





	1. Chapter 1

ZHA'lAFI 

 

 

"Delenn, are you sure you want to proceed in this matter? You know he will not accept this easily," Lennier asked in soft tone.

"I know. That is why it has to be done." Delenn had considered all facts and had weighed her decision carefully. This was inevitable. These dangerous times called for a Zha'lafi, a second in command and her replacement in case she would get wounded or captured by the enemy. This Zha'lafi would also be her successor, the next Entil'Zha and Ranger One.

The position of Zha'lafi had been vacant for quite some time now. Sinclair must have known all along she would inherit that title someday. The Earthforce Captain had never felt the need for a second in command.

But Delenn knew the advantages it would bring. It could turn out disastrous when only one was in command. She had often wondered what would happen to the rangers would she be murdered and had decided to do away with uncertainty. She had chosen and she thought it a splendid choice. But it would not be easy to convince Marcus Cole to accept this promotion.

 

"Hello, Lennier, have you been hiding from me? I haven’t seen you in days. Or has Delenn ordered some ritual to take place, chaining you to her quarters?" Marcus quipped, gladly accepting Lennier's company while making his way to C&C. Susan Ivanova had asked him to check on something.

There was a rumor going about that a psi cop had managed to sneak onboard of Babylon 5. Marcus had volunteered to see what his contacts were able to dig up. They had disappointed him and he wasn't looking forward to informing the Commander. The ranger was fighting his nervousness and perhaps Lennier could distract him. The thought of having to deal with a pissed off Commander Ivanova didn't appeal to Marcus. Although he loved the woman she did scare him when she was angry.

"Marcus, I was on my way to talk to you. Do you have a moment?" Lennier inquired.

The ranger welcomed the postponement of his execution. He was about to crack a joke when he noticed the look of concern on Lennier's face. Marcus mused for a moment, then made up his mind and let Lennier make the first move. "Yes, what’s wrong?" Marcus knew Lennier was dead serious when the young aide spoke words the ranger had never wanted to hear.

" Delenn has chosen her Zha'lafi. She is afraid the rangers will lose direction would she meet with an accident. She has searched her heart for a long time but is firm in her decision. Marcus, she wants you to start the Chulendra ceremony tonight. You will report for duty in Grey 3 at 00.00 hours. You know what the ritual is about?"

Marcus swallowed hard, this was going all wrong. He didn't want to be Delenn's successor. //I'm content being a ranger. Not to mention that the ritual might have a deadly ending. I have to make sure Delenn will change her mind,// he thought distressed. But the real, hidden reason for wanting to turn down this promotion was now surfacing.

Trying hard Marcus attempted to push it away, but it seemed to posses a will of its own. /I’m not worthy, Neroon perhaps or another Minbari Warlord. Not me, I've let too many people down... Because of my stupidity my family was killed. Delenn's making a mistake. I can never lead the rangers.//

"I can't accept that honor, Lennier. You know I can't," he stated in a firm tone.

Lennier eyed him assessingly. What was going on in Marcus' untraceable mind? "Marcus, you studied the Chulendra ceremony whilst your training. You have to know you cannot refuse. Delenn's decision, being Entil'Zha, cannot be questioned. I am afraid you do not have a say in this matter. And I agree with Delenn. You are our best choice. Or are you scared to die for the One would that be required?"

"Never!" Marcus exclaimed in an angry, aggravated tone. He would die for the One, he just didn't think he was worthy to do so.

Lennier sensed the ranger's contradicting emotions and realized this would be hard on him. The ceremony had originally been designed for Minbari warriors, never imagining a human would have to endure this test. "I will see you at 00.00 hours. Marcus, you know it is a very special honor to be chosen Zha'lafi?"

"Yes," Marcus sighed. Unless Susan would kill him while reporting to her, the most grueling week in his life was about to begin.

 

Susan hated the paperwork that came with the job, but she had to work her way through it. Signing some docking papers the Commander threw them on the pile of files at the edge of her desk. She raised her eyebrows slightly when she discovered Marcus Cole was late for his appointment. This alleged Psi Corps spy was making her uncomfortable. She couldn't bear the thought a spy was watching her or her friends' every move. With Lyta not present on the station it would be difficult to track the spy down. Ivanova had even turned to Marcus Cole for help. Although he was a terrible pain in the ass the ranger was the one who could gather enough information on where to search for the spy.

It wasn't like him to be late. Mister --exactly on time-- was already 10 minutes late. She wondered briefly if anything had happened to him, but dismissed the idea and started reading another file needing her approval and signature. File in her hand she was about to fling the papers at the door when the door chime announced a visitor. " Enter," she said in frustrated tone.

Marcus could almost feel her frustration on the other side of her door and had the sudden desire to stay there. // Hey, I want to get killed, get in there!// Marcus groaned, angry with himself and sneaked into the Commander's office. Recognizing Susan's look he knew it spelt trouble.

" Cole, I hope you've got some good news for me because I'm not in the mood to deal with bad news. Do you know who the traitor is?"

Marcus didn't sit down; the exit was his only way out of the office and he remained close to it, wishing he had some information to get her off his back. //Bugger,// he cursed mentally.

" Not yet. My contacts are checking some new arrivals but…"

" Damn it, Marcus." she interrupted him," I don't need you to tell me you failed. I need results, quickly. Psi Corps is trouble and I want to know everything that's going on Babylon 5. If you can't do better than..." Susan had risen to her feet, her eyes flashing and her hands making threatening gestures.

" Susan, give me some credit. You asked me only yesterday to investigate. I'm no magician. I can't magic him up for you!" he replied in hurt tone.

Susan was momentarily taken aback when his temper kicked in for a moment. She was a bit surprised; not expecting this outburst. It equaled her own. " Sorry, Marcus. It's... Psi Corps gives me the creeps," she whispered her apology.

Marcus controlled his temper once more. Master Durhann had told him many times to be patient and even now he was still working on it. It was the truth; the ranger wanted to catch the spy. Marcus despised Psi Corps as much as she did, but he had his own reasons, which Susan didn't know of. " I'll ask my contacts to try even harder. Can you live with that? I can't offer you anything more I'm afraid."

Susan nodded her head. It wasn't Marcus' fault she was terrified of being found out by the Corps. Her biggest nightmare was to be discovered as a latent. Not only by the Corps, but she also had to keep her friends in the dark; only John knew of her secret. She had told him, only him.

" Well, if I find anything I will let you know immediately," the ranger promised. Seeing her sadness Marcus could tell something was bothering her. If only she would confide in him then. she wouldn't be that alone anymore. Solitude was something he was familiar with because he had to deal with his own loneliness. But realizing Susan would keep everything inside he left her to her paperwork and turned to return to his own quarters. Marcus was uncomfortable with the idea of having to go undergo the Chulendra ceremony. It didn't matter to him that he could possibly die on its last day, during the last test. The only thing that truly worried him was that Delenn had chosen him to be her second in command.

 

Delenn, Lennier and several other rangers observed Marcus during the first test that night. The ceremony was rather complex and should he make even the slightest mistake, everything had to start again. Delenn realized how hard it had to be on a human to go through this on his own. When she had been made Entil'Zha it was true she had no one else than Lennier to help her, but there hadn't been that many tests for her to deal with. But becoming Zha'lafi was much more of an ordeal. She had briefly reconsidered asking Marcus, but she had not been able to come up with name of another ranger worthy of that title. As she watched Marcus finish his meditation she knew he would need some help in surviving this. Marcus wouldn't be much of a help to her and the rangers should he be left broken by this ordeal. " Lennier, do you agree Marcus needs someone to help getting him through this?" Delenn whispered even though Marcus was too far away to hear her. The Ambassador doubted that he would try to eavesdrop under these circumstances; the ranger needed every bit of his concentration to complete the extremely brutal pike fighting sequences.

" I do," Lennier had reached the same conclusion. " Do you have someone particular in mind, Delenn?"

" Yes. I will visit Commander Ivanova in the morning."

 

Marcus tried hard not to lose control over his pike. He loved the Minbari, but couldn’t' t understand their obsession with rituals. Although he had practiced these fighting sequences over and over again during his training when becoming a ranger they were draining him now. Normally, it wouldn't be that difficult to repeat them this many times, but he hadn't slept for 36 hours and it would take 2 more hours to complete this part of the ceremony. The ranger had tried hard to convince Delenn of her wrong judgment, but Lennier had stopped him quite effectively. There had been no other way than to give in and start the Chulendra Ceremony. While forcing his mind to stay in control of his body Marcus desperately wondered how he was going to get through this week and stay alive.

 

" It's now 05.30.You have two messages. One from Ambassador Delenn, one from Vir Cotto."

Susan was already out of bed and drinking some caff, sitting on the couch. She disliked caff. The Commander knew where to get some real coffee, but that would include being pestered for an hour by Marcus. In the middle of war she was glad a ranger had been stationed here. A ranger who obviously liked her enough to get her the coffee she badly craved. Marcus had given her two packets of coffee some weeks ago, but she hadn't managed to ration them properly. Suddenly, she remembered the messages. Why would Delenn send her one? " Play message from ambassador Delenn,"

Delenn's face appeared onscreen, calm and serene. Susan wondered how Delenn pulled it of to act this serene all the time, no matter what happened.

" Susan, I am sorry to disturb you this early, but I want to have a conversation with you. John said he could miss you in C&C at 10.00 hours. I will come to your quarters. It is a personal, delicate matter."

Susan's eyes grew large. What could be that important that Delenn would go through all the trouble of having her relieved from duty for some time and visit her in her own quarters? Something told her this would be no ordinary day.

Ivanova found herself sitting on the couch again at 9.55. John had told her she was relieved from duty for one hour. She had taken the opportunity to make some caff. In C&C everything had been running smoothly, there hadn't even been a reason to get mad at Corwin. This morning was quite uneventful till now and plainly boring. Even Marcus hadn't come by to annoy her. The door chime stopped her musings. " Enter," she said resolutely.

Looking at the rather small Minbari Ambassador Susan could have sworn Delenn was worried about something. " Please sit down, Delenn. You want to talk to me?" Placing the mug on the table Susan studied Delenn as the Ambassador sat down close to her.

" Yes, there is something we need to talk about. Have you seen Marcus today?"

" No, now that you mention it. I missed him this morning. Normally he always tries to ruin my morning by bumping into me when I'm on my way to C&C. It was remarkably quiet this morning."

Delenn nodded her head, agreeing with her. " Marcus hasn't told you about the Chulendra ceremony?"

Susan looked at Delenn impatiently. Why was this woman so complicated ? " No, Delenn, why should he? And what is that unpronounceable ceremony about?" Susan realized this was going to be a long conversation. It would take Delenn some time to get to the point the Minbari wanted to make.

" Oh my, I was afraid of that. " Delenn sighed and searched for the proper words to tell her story. She had to be careful. The Ambassador knew of the unstable friendship between Susan and Marcus. "In times of war it is custom to choose a Zha'lafi... a second in command to lead the rangers should anything happen to me and to advise me in urgent matters.  
Susan nodded. " Someone like me; I'm second in command and John's Captain."

" Yes, you could make that comparison." Delenn was happy she had managed to find a starting point for this conversation. " I have chosen this Zha'lafi, my successor." pausing, Delenn decided to add some dramatic effect, as John would call it. " I have chosen Marcus," she said, monitoring Susan's reaction carefully. The Commander looked astounded.

" Marcus, our Marcus?"  
" Yes, why are you amazed?"

" Well, you just told me he's going to be your successor. I can't imagine him being Entil'Zha." Susan shrugged her shoulders. She had never thought of Marcus in that way.

" But I can. "  
" So what has got this all do with me?"  
" I am going to ask a very big... what do you humans call it?....a favor of you," Delenn said smiling weakly.

Susan braced herself. This was it. She wished Delenn would stop being so vague.

" Marcus will be going through a very... exhausting time. Do you want to know what the Chulendra Ceremony consists of?" Delenn inquired.

Susan knew she was trapped and had to endure it. " I guess I do." Delenn smiled in a wicked way, which Susan thought very disturbing to see on Delenn's face. The Minbari Ambassador seemed to have grown used to human humor.

" It takes 7 nights. Every night he has to spent 3 hours meditating and 3 hours perfecting certain pike fighting sequences. Then the last 2 hours are spent studying the words of Valen. If he makes any mistake during the night, everything has to begin from the start all over again."

Susan shuddered, she didn't envy Marcus. She believed Delenn when she said Marcus was having a hard time. " So?" Susan tried to get Delenn to continue her story.

" The last night is the most important one. He will be given a poisonous drink. When he survives he will be my Zha'lafi," Delenn explained, waiting for Susan to react.

Susan started to get worried at this point of Delenn's story. They were going to poison him?

" You know the rangers live and die for the One. Well, Marcus has to prove he wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice his life for someone else in this case for his fellow rangers. The rangers can only follow a leader who would also die for them. " Delenn continued, pleased with the worried look on Susan's face for it meant the Commander cared for Marcus Cole.

" Are you serious? You would let him die to prove that? I don't know Marcus that well, but I think he has proven his loyalty enough to you," Susan said defensively.

" I know, but everyone who becomes Entil'Zha or Zha'lafi has to drink it. "

Susan realized something else. " You also drank it?"

" Yes"

" You survived," the Commander said with a hint of relief in her voice.

Delenn looked Susan straight in the eyes. " You forget I am Minbari. The poison and the trails were designed for Minbari, not for humans."

Susan now truly understood. They could lose Marcus. " I appreciate you telling me this, but why?"

Delenn moved a little closer to Susan.

The Commander's internal alarms warned her Delenn was up to something.

" I wanted to ask you to keep an eye on Marcus this week. He will never admit he needs help. Marcus needs to talk about this. Remember, he will face death in 6 nights time. I'm asking you because he trusts and admires you. Besides that you have a kitchen and a bathroom, two things he will be in desperate need of. " Delenn stopped, watching Susan's reaction.

Ivanova was thinking it over; Delenn was basically asking her to take Marcus in for the week. "Did Marcus make you come over and ask me?"

" No, he doesn't even know I am here. I need him as a leader, not a shadow of his former self. He never takes care of himself as he should. In this situation that could be fatal when given the poison."

Susan was not sure how to decide.

Delenn could read the doubt from her face. " Susan, he would do the same for you in a similar situation."  
" Congratulations, Delenn, your first attempt to make me feel guilty. Hell, it worked." Susan hardly believed she had agreed to do this.

Delenn looked extremely satisfied. " You can give this to him." She handed Susan a ranger uniform, which she had been carrying it behind her back. " He will need an extra one. Marcus has to clean his outfit every day and he only has one."

Susan accepted the uniform wondering why she had given into Delenn's request.

" You will go and find him?" the Ambassador wanted to know," My rangers told me that he's sitting in a bar called Airheart's, asleep. I asked John to give you the time off you need, so don't worry too much about C&C."

Susan realized she had walked straight into Delenn's trap and had done so with her eyes wide open. That Minbari woman was more dangerous than a Shadow fleet.

Delenn bowed and Susan returned the bow awkwardly. After she left Susan's quarters the Ambassador turned to Lennier who had been waiting outside.

" She accepted?" her aide wanted to know.  
" Yes, everything working out as planned."

Lennier followed her and wondered if he knew every scheme Delenn had in store for Marcus Cole. Lennier thought of something Marcus had once said; with friends like these who needed enemies?

 

Susan was not feeling entirely comfortable when she went down to the bar. She was trying hard to figure out where she was to go from here. It was 0900 hours, still early in the morning and most of the bars visitors had left a long time ago. Susan scanned the bar quickly. She discovered Marcus sitting in a dark corner, slumbering.

" Commander?"

Susan heard the voice of the female bartender. She turned around and looked the fair-haired woman in the eye. The bartender waved her to come closer. Susan had no choice than to go there. " Is there a problem?" Susan tracked the woman’s gaze as she was turning her eyes to Marcus.

" Yes, he is the problem. I have never seen our ranger drunk before. He stormed in an hour ago, got himself a bottle of vodka and started to drink. I think he is quite drunk by now."

Susan arched an eyebrow. " Vodka, you say? He doesn't even drink coffee. The vodka must have hit him like nothing he expected.” Susan shivered, remembering the first time she got drunk. She had had a hangover for an entire day, not forgetting that horrible vomiting the next morning. Somehow she knew what he was going through. She also realized things must have gotten real bad for him to turn to alcohol. And why vodka? There was nothing so treacherous as vodka. Susan nodded to the bartender. " Don't worry, I will take care of him"

Susan didn't wait for any conformation and walked to Marcus' table. He was sitting up but the table supported his upper body, otherwise he would have fallen. But the strangest thing was that his eyes were open. She looked at the vodka. The bottle was half empty. He must have drunk it in a hurry. That amount of Vodka in such short time would be enough to do everyone in. " Marcus, can you hear me?" She decided on the gentle approach. She doubted that yelling at him might do any good. " Marcus, are you still alive?" She couldn't help the joke. She didn't hide the smile she normally would have.

" Oh... just kill me..."

Susan sat down. She was wondering where that was coming from. What was he running away from? She had enough experience to understand why people got drunk. They were running, like she was running away from her emotions. " Marcus, why did you drink that much vodka? Your body isn't up to that." Marcus raised his head a little, just enough to look at her. She could see his misery clearly.

" I don't know... you drink it all the time..."

" But I’m Russian, I’m used to it. Why are you drinking? This is so much unlike the Marcus I know."

Marcus attempted to let the room stop spinning, to no avail. It made it worse and now Susan seemed to talk to him through a tunnel. Something he had never experienced before. Actually she looked a bit funny to him. He was through with live, if the Minbari poison wouldn't kill him he would find a way to get out of becoming Zha'lafi. Delenn should have listened to him. She was making him do this, acting out like a madman, going berserk. " You want to know why I am drinking this evil brew?"  
Susan leaned in closer, helping him focus on her. Her heart went out to him, feeling lost as he apparently was. " Tell me, I can be a good listener and by the looks of it you are going nowhere except into oblivion perhaps."

Marcus wavered, he didn't have any control over his tongue, his mind forming words before he realized what he was saying. He was having some kind of mental meltdown. " There are so many reasons... so much guilt... I killed my brother William... Delenn wants me to be her successor... You know how old I am?"

Susan was making some mental notes of his revelations so she could ask him these things when he was sober again. " Your age? Hell, I don’t know...33?” Susan wasn't sure where Marcus thoughts were leading.

" Almost, 34 actually.... and still a virgin... blimey, I’m such a pitiful excuse for a man!" While revealing this secret his head fell to the table with a very loud bang. He had passed out, no doubt about that. 

Susan was struck dumb by Marcus' last statement. This man was a virgin? No way. Susan’s mind played a trick on her by showing her a picture of her and Marcus making love. She shook her head to lose the image. Surely, he had been playing a joke on her. Well, she could ask Delenn. Susan did not have the impression Delenn would keep silent.

" All right, Marcus, let's get you to bed so you can sleep off the effects of the Vodka. Man, you are going to have a major hangover in a couple of hours and I wonder if you will be okay by 00.00. I’m doing a great job, Delenn, why did you not ask Lennier? I am failing him already."

Susan didn't speak regularly aloud to herself but this was a bit too much to handle; a drunk ranger, confessing to being a virgin. Susan pulled him from his seat, by accident knocking the vodka bottle down to the floor. //That is a real waste!//

Susan managed to drag him to his quarters, great what was his access code? " Marcus, what do you use?" Damn rangers, never wore any identifications on them. Marcus remained silent, she repeated the question.

" Desdemona," he whispered, barely conscious.

Susan typed the word and the door opened. She wanted to step inside, but halted as she saw the mess he had made of his quarters. " Men, they are all alike!" Susan decided she could not leave him here. Rests of food, almost rotten were everywhere. He had neglected his quarters for quite some time.

" Well, I will take you to my quarters, you can crash there." Susan had been content to discover he didn't weigh that much. She was angry at the looks some people where throwing at them. " Have you never seen someone drunk before?” She could not help barking at the young soldier who passed them by. The young man looked down at the floor, avoiding her ice like eyes.

//I’m going to get you for this, Marcus, before the day is over there will be all kinds of rumors going around we are an item. Then I will have to kick box some people into space through an airlock. Sounds awfully like working overtime!//

Susan opened her door and dragged him to her bedroom. She considered the couch for a moment but he was much too tall to lie there comfortably. So she put him on her bed. He was still sound asleep, whispering softly in Minbari.

" I really should learn to speak that stupid language."

Susan drew a blanket atop of him and dimmed the lights. She didn't want him to have a rude awakening and the dimmed lights would make it more bearable when Marcus would wake up. Susan activated the com system and contacted Delenn. The Ambassador answered in person.

" Delenn, I found Marcus, he was dead drunk. I put him to bed and he’s asleep now." Susan saw the worried look on Delenn’s face.  
" Drunk? He drank alcohol? Now? He has to be ready for the second night of Chulendra at 00.00 hours!"

" Don't be bothered. I will feed him caffeine, it will wake him enough to last the night."

" Then it seems you appeared just in time to prevent things from getting worse. I knew he had problems accepting his promotion, but I didn't expect this. Please accept my gratitude."

Susan waved Delenn’s words away with her hand. " No thanks needed. I promised you to take care of him, that’s what I will do. But on my terms. Delenn, tell me one thing, is Marcus Cole still a virgin?"  
Delenn didn't see any harm in answering that question, not seeing any importance in Susan asking it. " Yes, he still has Unicorn status."

" Unicorn? Sounds like a fairy tale," Susan murmured.

Delenn sensed Susan’s need for an explanation. " Well, rangers can marry of course or... date, that’s the right word for it, I think. But some rangers decided when they joined us to wait for true love. Marcus is one of them. He is still waiting."

" But he 34 years old!"  
Delenn wasn't able to understand why this was so important to Susan so she said the one thing that sounded reasonable that moment. " He has an innocent soul and even worse he is very shy, even I noticed that."

Susan let her breath escape. She almost forgot she needed air to stay alive. She felt a bit shocked for the first time in many years while she was an officer. She had lost her virginity when she had been 18 and it had been a rather clumsy experience, which she didn't really treasure in her heart. " One more problem to deal with." Susan sighed.

Delenn looked at her, not comprehending that statement. Delenn ended the conversation.

Susan checked one more time on Marcus, certain he wouldn't wake for the next 5 or 6 hours. She would resume her shift at C&C for those 6 hours. But before leaving her bedroom she placed a bucket near the bed, just in case Marcus would need it.

 

Marcus woke with a startling fright. His stomach was in the middle of doing somersaults and he realized quickly he had to throw up. Only just in time he noticed the bucket on the side of the bed.  
He was sweating after he had vomited and fell down to the bed again. He tried hard to remember where he was and what had happened. The last thing he remembered was going Down Below and grabbing a bottle of vodka and starting to drink. It was the first time he drank alcohol and the vodka took him completely by surprise. He had filled his glass to the rim and drank 3 glasses. Then everything became one black hole in his mind. 

He looked about, he was sure he had never been in here before. It was definitely a bedroom, a woman’s bedroom judging by the clothes hanging on the chair next to the bed. He closed his eyes and made an effort to control his swirling mind. His throat ached from the throwing up and he had an awful taste in his mouth. He had felt miserable before, but nothing like this. He had the distinct impression he could see himself lying on the bed, looking down from the ceiling at his own body. He shook his head to get rid off that sensation. That proved to be a mistake. His head ached and he felt like a thousand nails were being driven into his brain.

Susan watched him, standing in the doorway. She just returned from C&C and decided to check on him. She could smell he had vomited. It reminded her of her first hangover. She stirred the content of the glass in her hands. It was water mixed with some painkillers. Stephen’s patent hangover cure. She had used it herself a few times and discovered it worked. She knew Marcus was in need of it. He lay on the bed, eyes closed, clutching his head as it would fall of his head the moment he let go. She made her presence known to him by speaking up, softly. " Your first hangover, Marcus?"

Marcus’ eyes flew open, causing even more of a headache. " Susan? Is that you? Why are you shouting like that?"  
Susan chuckled, she had whispered, as a matter of fact. " Here, drink this, it will help you getting over your hangover more quickly." Susan walked to the bed and handed him the glass.

Marcus tried to get hold of it with his right hand but his co-ordination was so bad he only managed to spill some of it.

Susan took charge as she was used to. She took possession of the glass again, touching his hand in the process and felt how cold he was. " I will help you." Susan supported his head while he drank. She was trying hard to hide her amusement seeing him like this. She laid his head down to the cushion once more and grabbed the bucket and disposed of it. She hated that smell, it made her want to vomit herself.

" How did I get here?" Marcus moved into a sitting position. He avoided looking at her. He felt terrible ashamed of his behavior. It was even worse she had witnessed him losing control.

Susan remained standing next to the bed. The potion would start to work in a few minutes, then he would feel a lot better. She remembered his question. " I found you sitting at a table, quite drunk if I may add. I wanted to take you to your own quarters but you made quite a mess there so I had to take you home with me."

" I’m in your quarters?"

Susan couldn't help making the next remark. " You are laying in my bed, Cole."

Marcus attempted to stand but his legs buckled out from underneath him. He was forced to sit down again.

"You better rest a little longer. I will start dinner. You can join me when you feel up to it." Susan turned his back on him. He was a nuisance, but an amusing one. She left the bedroom and knew she was going to try that new recipe for lasagna Garibaldi had given her.

Marcus watched her leave. His headache was diminishing a bit and he scanned the room; her bedroom. He had never been here, yet it seemed strangely familiar to him. Then he noticed the stench on him. He knew Susan had her own bathroom but he didn't want to invade her privacy by using it, though he really could use a shower. He considered asking her permission but swiftly dismissed the idea.

" Feel free to use the shower, I don't want you around here smelling like that."

Marcus nearly jumped up from the bed hearing her words. For a moment he thought she had read his mind. But that was humbug, she wasn't a telepath. " You really don't mind?"

" No, go ahead."

Marcus shrugged, thinking how strange Susan was acting, like she cared for him. He was too tired to ponder the idea. Then he remembered the Chulendra ceremony and checked the time. Bugger, 21.00 hours. He had to be completely awake by 00.00. He was certain he would never make it through the second night of the ritual. He argued with himself about locking the bedroom door but it would be extremely impolite to lock Susan out of her own bedroom. He stumbled to the bathroom. He found some towels, shampoo and undressed. Now that the effects of that demonical drink were wearing down, he wondered what had possessed him to get drunk in the first place.

Marcus stepped into the shower, a moment later warm water was embracing him like al long lost friend. He just stood there, feeling the softness of the droplets dripping from his body. He was tired and felt so old. He shook his head, rather cautiosly, to get away from his melancholy and washed his hear. The stench of alcohol disappearing bit by bit.

He didn't notice Susan sneaking into the bathroom to collect his clothes. Susan picked up the filthy clothing and draped the clean uniform over the laundry basket, standing in the corner of the room. She had a hard time acknowledging she was actually enjoying taking care of him. It allowed her to show a more nurturing side to her personality. A side she usually hid from spying eyes. She peaked at the glass walls surrounding the shower, she wasn't intending to spy on him but curiosity... For a moment she was disappointed, that the glass wall revealed nothing of his body. // My bad luck.//

Susan finished preparing dinner and waited for him to show his face. After a few minutes he emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed, his hair still damp from the water. It was definitely an improvement. He stood still, waiting, embarrassed to the bone. His face was lowered, he looked like a little boy who had been up to some mischief and expected to be punished now.

Susan had to admit this man was intriguing her. He had fought Neroon some weeks ago and it had not fazed him but a promotion did? She wanted to know more about him. She had to know everything that went on Babylon 5. " Did Stephen’s magical cure work?" Susan put the lasagna on the small kitchen table.

" I... feel better... I..."

" Come and sit down. We can talk while we eat." Susan helped herself to a serving of the Italian food and watched him sit down, acting in an uneasy way. He was wringing in his hands, searching for a way to start the conversation.

" I owe you an apology. I was completely out of line, getting drunk, that is. I don't know why I did it... but I would like to thank you for snapping me out of it."

" Well, it proves you’re human, had my doubts about that for some time now. Don't be embarrassed, you should have seen me the first time I got drunk. I smashed a few heads in my time." Susan was a bit astonished she was letting him off that easy. Normally she would have shouted at him for acting that stupid but for some reason she was rather mellow this evening. " Think you can eat something?"

" I will try, after all, this is the first time you made me dinner."

" Don't get used to it, Cole."

Marcus helped himself and tasted her cooking. " It is delicious," he complimented her, hell, he would even have praised her cooking had it been awful. He was nervous. " You told me you that you dragged me back here... did I say something at all?" He was so scared he had told her things he wanted to keep a secret. Susan had to think this one over. Should she tell the truth or not? She decided to be merciful, for the time being. " No, only some words in Minbari and you know I don't have a clue what that language is about."

Marcus however detected her hesitation to answer him but wasn't keen on cross-examining her. She would turn that little game around and he would be the victim. He deliberately switched subjects. " Thank you for the clean outfit. How did you get it?" That was something he did want to know. He had the queer idea Susan had known on forehand what he was going to need. There was something he had missed completely.

Now it was Susan’s time to give some explanation. " Delenn visited me this morning. She told me of the Chulendra ceremony and asked me to keep an eye on you. It turned out I found you dead drunk and decided to help you out a bit. The uniform comes from Delenn."

Marcus' face showed true horror. " You know about her crazy plan to make me her heir to the throne? I tried to talk her out of it but Lennier stopped me. The guy is stronger than he looks like. Damn fools."

" Your precious Ranger One is a fool? I am discovering a whole new side to you, Marcus."

" I didn't mean it like that... I..." Marcus realized he had lost this verbal brawl and for once accepted defeat. In silence he finished his dinner, it was time to go to Delenn to prepare for the next night of hard work. " I have to be going now. I am truly grateful for your kindness... I" //I didn't expect it,// he swallowed the words swiftly before saying them.

" You’re welcome. You can have breakfast with me if you want to, 0830 hours sharp." //Hey, were did that one come from?// Susan bit her lip, stopping herself from saying more.

" You are serious?"

" Marcus, as much as I like practical jokes I wouldn't pull one on you when you are going through all this. I do pity you for having to endure all these insane rituals."

Marcus knew he was staring at her and he should stop doing that, but somehow his stare was paralyzed.

" Marcus, you are staring at me." Susan’s voice broke the spell and mumbling some words he left her quarters in a rush. Susan sat there and smiled.

 

Delenn and Lennier observed Marcus as he approached the training facility. He looked worn and haggard. Black circles were starting to show beneath his eyes. Delenn had been relieved when she heard Susan’s message that the ranger was safe with her.

" You are late." Delenn had confided in Lennier, telling him of Susan’s acceptance of her request.

" Give me a break, Lennier. I am only one minute late." Marcus protested, hoping Delenn would stop the Chulendra and admit she had made the wrong choice. //Keep on dreaming, old chap!// Marcus knew that it wasn't going to happen. Delenn would stick to her judgment. Lennier took his arm and led him to the room were Chulendra was to be held. //Three hours of pike practice, three more hours of meditating and two hours studying the' wise' words of Valen, Great. It is enough to drive anyone mad!//Marcus sent a little prayer to whatever god or spirit was listening to let him survive the next 8 hours.

 

Marcus couldn’t believe he had actually made it through the second night. It was 08.20 and he remembered Susan’s invitation to have breakfast with her. He was convinced she had only said it out of politeness, not really meaning those words. Marcus sat down on a bench in the gardens. He realized he wasn't searching for that supposed Psi Corps spy anymore. He would visit his contacts in a little while. First he had to get things straightened out again. He left the gardens and arrived at his quarters 5 minutes later. When the door opened realization hit hard when he saw the mess he had made of his room.

" Computer, message to Commander Ivanova. Susan I was honored by your invitation but I won't intrude on your hospitality any longer. I acted like a fool and I am really sorry about everything."

Marcus sent the message and told the computer to hold any messages he would receive. Then he started to clean his quarters. His thoughts wandered off all this time. He was still not sure why Susan had taken care of him last night. After he had finished cleaning the place he laid down on the bed. Susan’s bed was a lot more comfortable and cozy. He slept before he had ended the thought about her bed.

 

Commander Susan Ivanova was scaring every single one in C&C. Even Sheridan and Garibaldi sneaked about C&C trying not to attract her attention. From the moment she had reported to duty till now she had been screaming at anyone who happened to be close to her. Lt. Corwin was afraid he was going to have a heart attack if she acted like this any longer.

" You have got to do something, Captain. All our crew will have to check into med lab if she keeps raving on like this." Garibaldi watched Susan from Sheridan’s office, a safe hiding place.

" I don't know what to do, except to relieve her from duty."  
" I think that’s an excellent idea. But I don't envy you telling her that."

Sheridan hated it to square off against Susan. She made him feel so damned insecure. He told himself he was Captain, he was in charge not her. Sheridan asked an officer to bring the Commander to his office.

Susan was seeing red flames when she arrived at his office. She didn't like him pulling her away from her work like this.

Sheridan realized he had to prevent her from starting an argument. " Commander, I order you to take the rest of the day off. You are making everyone in here going insane. That is an order, now leave." Sheridan mentally patted himself on the shoulder for being this brave.

Susan wasn't able to utter a single word of protest. She was speechless. She shrugged and left C&C without saying another word.

" That was absolutely fabulous, Captain. I didn't think you had it in you."

 

Susan was walking the Babylon 5 corridors in a frenzy. She had received Marcus' message and her first impulse had been to kick his ass. She had never before invited anyone for breakfast and he declined. He was going to pay for that insult. She was getting close to Marcus' quarters when a voice called her.

" Commander, where are you going in that kind of hurry?"  
Susan turned and saw Delenn walking towards her. " I’m going to kill Marcus Cole!"

" How did he wrong you?" Delenn’s expression showed her surprise.

" I played the good babysitter for him yesterday and this morning he stands me up for breakfast!" Susan was almost yelling at her. She realized what she was doing and forced herself to calm down a bit. It wasn't like her to get this pissed off by a declined invitation.

" And your solution is to kill him? I will never understand your human way of thinking." Delenn took Susan’s arm and led her to her own quarters where she sat Susan down on the couch. " You want some Minbari tea? It is very relaxing." Susan shrugged and Delenn asked Lennier, who had shown up to see why Delenn was back in such a short time, to make some tea for the two of them. " You would do Marcus a very big favor if you killed him. I suspect he has had this absurd death wish for quite some time." Delenn nodded to Lennier to thank him and he departed to leave them to their private conversation.

" So, I am not the only one who thinks he wants to get killed? That stunt he pulled fighting Neroon really convinced me of that."

" I agree. He has been through a lot in his life and he hasn't forgiven himself for any of that" Delenn was surprised when she saw Susan’s expression.

" What happened to him that he is the way he is?" Susan wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

" He never told you?"

" No, we are not that close."

Delenn was deciding what to tell her. Susan saw it in her eyes. Finally Delenn spoke." He lost his brother during a Shadow attack. He blames himself for his death."

Susan was silent. Losing someone close to you was something she understood. She had lost her mother, father, Ganya, Talia. "I didn't know."

" Apparently he was very fond of his older brother William and he promised his dying brother to take his place. So he joined the rangers. He is living William’s life to pay for the debt he feels he owes William because he let him die. Which is nonsense, the Shadows surprised them and a lot of people died that night." Delenn sounded sad.

" You said he never forgave himself… for letting his brother die?"

Delenn nodded and added, " And he hasn't forgiven himself for being alive. He feels he should have died that night, not William."

Susan processed all this new information. She felt like she had never really known the guy. They had worked together for a year now and she knew nothing of his past or his feelings. " Delenn, you got me into this situation, what should I do?"

Delenn looked her in the eye. Her voice was as soft as silk when she spoke again. " Give him the time he needs. The evening before he has to drink the Tirash he will feel the need to talk to someone. "

Susan sighed. Delenn was asking her to wait for a very long time. But she was resolved to take her advice, Delenn knew Marcus much better than she did. Patience wasn't something she was good at, she hoped she wouldn't lose it.

 

Marcus felt like he was in some trance when he repeated the same answers over and over again. The Minbari ranger was asking him these questions for the sixth time. He couldn't afford to make a mistake. He had managed to get through six nights without passing out or doing something insane. At long last Delenn gave the sign that this night of Chulendra had ended. Marcus rose to his feet. He had been sitting cross-legged for the last 2 hours and his body was telling him it wouldn't take much more of this abuse.

" Marcus, before you go, can we talk?" Delenn beckoned him to follow her to a corner where two chairs had been placed. " Please, sit down."

Marcus followed her example. His body content now it could rest. He searched Delenn’s face. He could have sworn something was troubling her. He waited politely for her to begin the conversation. He was curious what she wanted to talk to him about.

" Why have you been ignoring Susan?"

Marcus felt like a bomb exploded in his head. " I don't understand..."

" Oh, you don't fool me, Marcus. She acted like a good friend when she helped you. You don't return any of her messages, you avoid seeing her... What did she do to you to deserve this?"

Marcus averted his eyes. He couldn't tell Delenn, she was his superior, Ranger One. He couldn't tell her his problems. " She didn't do anything wrong, I can't face her... after my bad behavior."

" Marcus, tomorrow night you could die. The Tirash could kill you. Why don't you go to her? You both need to talk."

" I... will think about it. May I be excused now?" Marcus' heart had ached when Delenn mentioned Susan’s name. Delenn nodded her approval and Marcus returned to his quarters. Delenn’s words haunted his mind. He knew she was right about talking to Susan, but he felt so ashamed. He had not seen Susan after that evening. He cherished the memory of those hours in the depth of his heart. He sat on his bed, deadly tired but unable to catch sleep. He stared at the floor for some hours. He felt like he had lost his soul years ago and now he was desperately trying to make it return to him.

In a few hours he would have to undergo the ritual of Tirash. The poison could kill him. He knew he would not be able to say his goodbyes to this world before he talked to Susan. He went to sit at his desk and took some paper and wrote down some words. He folded the paper and slid it into his pocket. He closed his eyes, sending a prayer to Valen to give him strength and left his quarters.

 

Susan had finished her shift and slipped into something comfortable before she lay down on the couch. She was tired. C&C had been hectic all day and a lot of problems were left to her to deal with. Even Sheridan had looked to her to solve some differences between merchants from Centauri. She yawned and tried to avoid thinking of Marcus Cole. He had ignored her for 5 days in a row. She missed him being around but her pride and obstinacy kept her from making the first move. He was the one who had stopped all communication, he had to make the first move. She nodded to confirm this to herself. She was caught totally off guard when the door chime announced a visitor.

" It's me, Marcus. May I talk to you?"  
Susan heard the soft tones of hesitation in his voice. What was he thinking? Coming over to her quarters like that? She was getting angry with him. //Calm down, Susan, give him a chance to explain himself. Don't rush to conclusions as you normally do. You like this guy, remember?// " Enter." Susan moved into a sitting position. She wished she hadn't changed into her nightgown already. It made her feel vulnerable. The door opened and Marcus entered, eyes down to the floor. He didn't look that healthy, the black circles beneath his eyes had worsened and he had lost weight. Once again she wondered why she had changed her opinion of him 5 days ago. When she had seen him, helpless and drunk, it had moved her in a way she had never experienced before. It had felt like the last innocent soul she knew had acknowledged defeat by trying to kill his sorrow, in turning to alcohol. He had drunk vodka because she drank it, she knew it now.

" Susan... sorry I didn't return any of your messages. These last days were a bit exhausting."

" Look at me, Marcus." Susan watched his reaction when he raised his eyes and discovered she wasn't in uniform.

She looked absolutely gorgeous too him. " That blue dress complements your eyes."

Susan heard the whisper and noticed he took a step back as if he was to run out of her room. She had to be careful. " Thank you, why don't you sit down?"

" Are you sure? I didn't act properly towards you. I am here to offer you an apology."

" Apology accepted, now sit down." Susan wasn't planning on giving him a chance to retreat this time. She locked her eyes on his face, forcing him to take a seat opposite of her.

Marcus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Susan’s appearance had bereft him of every sane thought. He was sure he would stutter if he tried to speak. " What do you want to talk to me about?"

Susan reached for her glass of vodka and sipped.

Marcus moaned at the sight of the alcoholic drink. He had not yet really gotten over its effects. " I am being selfish, I better go." Marcus lacked the courage to go on with this conversation. He started to rise when Susan told him to sit down.

" Is it because of the poison you have to drink tonight?'

Marcus nodded his head.

Susan searched for a way to make him opening up to her. " You never told me about your family..."

Marcus' head jerked. She knew something. " I did say something that night when I was drunk, didn't I?"

" Yes, you said you felt guilty because your brother died."

" He died in my arms because I wouldn't listen to his warning about the Shadows."

Susan remembered her talk with Delenn. She could see now that he felt guilty that he was the one alive." Why don't you forgive yourself and let him go? I know he would have been proud of you. Stop blaming yourself. You need to let the past rest and look to the present and the future. It will kill you in the end. Trust me, I lost so many people dear to me, there are times they drag me down and I want to lose myself in the alcohol." Susan suddenly realized it was she who was opening up to him. She never expected herself to get that carried away by his sorrow. But she understood what he was going through. She knew his fear. " You are afraid you are a bad leader. You are afraid you will get your rangers killed. Well, I will let you in on a little secret; men rather fight for a leader who cares for them, worries about their health than someone who sends them to their death without feeling any remorse at all. You would make a compassionate leader."

Marcus stared at her, pondering her words. " You agree with Delenn then?"  
" Yes, Delenn knows the rangers are willing to die for you."

Marcus moved a little closer to Susan.

Tension made its appearance in the room as she lost herself in his green eyed. Yes, compassionate, that what was he was.

" When did you get that wise, Susan?"

Susan shuddered at the way he said her name. " You mentioned something else while you were drunk. You should know you told me."

Marcus was confused. What had he told her?

" You told me that you’re a virgin." Susan saw how he blushed and moved away from her again.

He was dumbfounded. Had he told her THAT? This was embarrassing. " I... would appreciate it if you kept that a secret to yourself. It is not something I am proud of."

" Why not? I think it is very romantic to wait for true love."

Marcus didn't want to discuss this. He was in love with her and she wanted to talk about his non- existing love life.

" I didn't know you believed in that romantic stuff." He felt driven in to a corner. She was the last person he wanted to know he was a virgin at his age.

" I always had a soft spot for unicorns. I had one made of crystal when I was a child. I could look at it for hours, fascinated by its many reflections." Susan told the truth, she had cherished that statue. Was she imagining things or was it getting warmer in the room? She hadn't expected this revelation concerning her feelings for this man. She didn't like him, no, she loved him...

" I have to go know. They expect me to start the preparations for the ritual... If I survive this Susan... may I invite you for breakfast this time... and I promise I will play no more games."

Marcus stood in front of her, Susan rose to stand next to him. He was slightly taller and she had to look up to him. " I accept, but I will need coffee if you don't want me to be cranky during breakfast."

Marcus smiled, a bit sad. He had been so terrified to come here, now he felt like a burden was taken away from his heart. He had not confessed his love for her, he couldn't do that. He was so close to death now. He felt like he would make her a widow before they had been lovers and couldn't do that to her. He didn't want to force her to choose now. Not while there was a possibility he could die. He fumbled for the little piece of paper. It was folded so the words were invisible. " I... please open this in 20 minutes. I will have taken the Tirash by then. Promise me not to open it earlier?"

" I promise but what is this all about?"

Marcus had to go now or he wouldn't have the courage to go through with the Chulendra ceremony. He had pondered his decision long. But his conclusion had been that he couldn't let Delenn down. He was aware of the honor she bestowed on him. He couldn't make her into a liar. Delenn trusted him, wanted him as her successor, he had finally accepted it. He took Susan’s right hand in his, feeling her soft warmth. How he longed to hold her in his arms, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps never. He placed a gentle kiss on her fingers. His mind formed the words he was too afraid to say aloud. //I love you, perhaps you will never know.//

Susan felt a strange sensation in her mind. It sounded like Marcus, proclaiming his love for her. She pushed the idea away, impossible. Her mind was playing tricks on her, making up the words she wanted to hear.

Marcus slowly turned his back on her and headed through the door. Her fingers, touching his smooth lips aroused a feeling in her she had thought long lost. She watched him leave, the piece of paper lying on the table.

 

Marcus was on his way to the training facility that had become his second home for the last week now and was determined to leave his past behind him. The memories clung to him like chains and he had to cut away from them.

//Good-bye, William. It’s too bad you will never know how well I turned out. I no longer am the selfish little brat you knew. I accused the rangers of brainwashing your mind with all their horror stories about the Shadows. I laughed at you when you tried to warn me and you paid the price, you, mum and dad. You all died that night. I couldn't tell Susan my parents had died as well. Perhaps when I survive this, I will. I can't change the past but I can help to fight those Shadows and therefore improve our chances to see another tomorrow.//

For the first time in years he felt peace of mind. The prospect of dying tonight took his shame and fear away. They no longer controlled his life. Should he die this night he could lay down his life in peace. Should he survive... he would try to gain Susan’s love one more time. No more hiding behind his armor of wit. He stepped into the darkened room free of guilty feelings.

The expression on his face made Delenn look a second time at him. //Something is different about him tonight.// Delenn took him to the tilted bed which had been placed in the center of the room.

Marcus felt calm as he lay down.

Entil'Zha Delenn turned to the assembled rangers who were here to witness Marcus' final trial.

" We gathered here to test Marcus Cole whom I have chosen to be my Zha’lafi. In a few moments he will drink the Tirash."

While she spoke those words Lennier approached, holding in his hands a golden goblet. It was filled with a dark, black liquid.

" He knows his life can be taken away from him in the next hour. He is willing to sacrifice himself for the greater cause. The second principle of sentient life. "

" We live and die for the one." All rangers present spoke as one.

Delenn nodded and accepted the goblet from Lennier’s hands and placed it at Marcus' lips who drank the poison without any hesitation. Delenn showed the now empty beaker to the rangers, proof he had drunk the Tirash. One by one the rangers bowed and left the room, leaving Delenn, Lennier and Marcus behind. In one hour they would know whether Marcus would live or die.

" Lennier and I will sit with you, we will not leave you alone. Try to sleep, Marcus." Delenn and Lennier watched Marcus close his eyes as he turned unconsciousness.  
" Did you tell him you adapted the dose so he won't die?"  
Delenn smiled, satisfied. " No. I did not tell him or Susan. I am curious how long it will take her to rush down here."

" I did not expect this wicked side to you, Delenn." Lennier smiled too.

" These humans are corrupting me," Delenn chuckled and thought of Susan. It hadn't been her intention to play mind games on the Commander. But Susan needed to acknowledge her feelings and thinking Marcus' life was in danger might actually do the trick. So, Delenn waited for Susan to arrive

 

It took Susan some moments to realize Marcus had left. Then she remembered the earnest of this Tirash trial and hoped he would survive the ordeal. She was getting used to having him around and would sorely miss him. She still couldn't understand why Delenn risked his life in this trial. It would be such a terrible loss should he die. Susan ordered herself to stop driving herself crazy, thinking like this. She switched on the coffee machine. She needed something to get her through this. She thought about reverting to vodka but hated the idea of drowning her misery. She filled her mug and sat down on the couch. Delenn had informed her that Marcus would be tested at 21.00 exactly. She checked the time; 21.10. He would have taken the poison by now. Susan caught herself mumbling a little prayer her mother had taught her. Although she didn't believe in God or angels and all that hypocritical stuff, she hoped someone was listening to her plea.

Then she recalled the piece of paper he had given her. Ill at ease she walked over to the table to pick it up. She unfolded it and her heart stopped to beat for one second as she read the words.

 

#Susan,

I love you. Please forgive me if I’ve hurt you in the past.

Marcus#

 

She recognized his handwriting the moment she laid eyes on the paper and tears formed in her eyes. Damn him, for not speaking up! Why had he not told her a few moments ago when he had been in her quarters? She hadn't even had the chance to kiss him, to tell him she loved him too. In a hurry she changed in to some black sweats and ran through the corridors, ignoring all curious looks. //Please, don't let me be too late!//

She entered the darkened room and fright filled her mind. Delenn and Lennier sat with Marcus who was lying on a tilted bed. He was breathing heavily and was covered with sweat.

His handsome face was ghostly white. Why was it only now that she saw how kind his face was?

" Susan, can I help you?" Delenn approached her and stood next to her.

" Is he... in danger?"

Delenn wavered. " Yes."

Susan looked at Delenn. " Can I sit with him, alone, please?"

Delenn gestured Lennier to follow her out of the room.  
" Thank you, Delenn." Susan pushed the chair closer to the bed and grabbed his hand, which felt terribly hot. She stroked his hair, hoping he’d wake up to hear her words, her confession.

" Marcus, I’m so sorry I didn't realize before I loved you. I was too afraid I think. I lost everyone close to me and now you’re lying here, dying perhaps. I passed up another chance at love, maybe the last one I will get. I wish you could hear me, Marcus. You’re incredibly irritating at times but I love you and I’m so happy you love me too. Please don't leave me behind, Marcus. I can't take losing someone again. You never let me down. Please return to me, Marcus. I want to love again."

Susan fell silent. He had not woken and his breathing was still labored. The only thing she could do was wait. She laid her head on his chest, assuring herself he was breathing. Tears ran down her face. //Please live, Marcus.//

 

A light, shining bright, guided him away from the darkness that encircled him. He began to run towards the light, it seemed like he was flying.

" Marcus."

Marcus stopped, standing rigged, trying to discover the origin of that voice. He knew that voice. It had comforted him when he’d been a child, had punished him when he had been naughty. He turned around and was struck with disbelief when he recognized the two people standing in front of him. They looked exactly the same as he remembered them. The woman’s hair was gray, her face kind and her sparkling green eyes echoed a reminder of some mischief. The man was old, his hair had not turned completely gray yet, some dark, brown hair showing through. His beard was as long as it had been the day he'd died. " Mum, dad, am I dead?"

His mother embraced him, warm, reassuring and Marcus couldn't hold back his tears. This was overwhelming. She pulled him close, stroking his hair as she had done so many times when he had been a frightened child.

" No son, you’re not dead, but somehow you managed to reach out to us. Don't want to know how you did that. You always were trouble, Marc."

Marcus looked at his father who was laughing at him. It touched his heart to feel the warmth of his parents surrounding him, offering him all the protection he would ever need.

" But we do have to talk, son. What the hell do you think you are doing with your life? You cling to our deaths like you used to hold on to that worn out teddy bear you had for years. You have to let us go." His father patted him on his shoulder, encouraging him.

" But... I’m to blame for your and William’s death..."

" Stop it, Marc. You’re being overly dramatically. You had nothing to do with that attack. "

Marcus watched his mother’s kind eyes.

" You always loved your precious guilt. It is time to snap out of it. There is someone in your life you love and who loves you back. It’s not your destiny to die here, now. Make her happy and she in turn will make your life complete. Listen to her crying."

His mother released him and then he heard Susan’s voice calling him back to her.

" We love you, Marc. You’re our son and we’re proud of you. We’re at peace. Wherever we are, we will always be in your heart. Now go back to her, Marcus."

Marcus tried to memorize her kiss and suddenly was pulled away from the couple who were standing arm in arm, smiling at him.

" I love you too, mum, dad."

Marcus slowly returned to consciousness. He noticed something heavy on his chest. With great effort he succeeded in opening his eyes. He lay there, watching her, still to weak to speak or move. Susan was sitting next to him, her head resting on his chest. She must have fallen asleep, her eyes were closed. His memory returned quickly, remembering the note he left her. She had it in her left hand, which rested on his arm. He thought about his parents, he had been forgiven, now he could forgive himself. He was afraid to breathe, scared to death she would wake up and break the spell she had created.

He didn't notice Delenn and Lennier standing in the doorway, observing them. Delenn was delighted her little plan had worked. She had been sure for some time now the two loved each other. She had never been a matchmaker before but she had not been able to withstand the temptation of getting them together.

Suddenly Marcus felt the need to cough real badly. He sucked in some air and started coughing, waking Susan in the process.

" You are alive, Marcus...Thank God... Marcus!" She pulled him close to her, almost raising his body from the bed.

Marcus was suddenly short of breath, her grasp on him that strong. " Susan... I need to breathe, you know." Marcus looked in amazement at her watered eyes. She must have been crying.

" You never do this to me again! NEVER AGAIN, YOU HEAR? DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, MARCUS! " She shouted at him, relief making way for her anger to emerge. " You could have died, Marcus." She calmed down, seeing how weak he was. " I could have lost you, my love," she whispered.

" I’m sorry, Susan. But I had to do this." His voice was ragged and trembled quite a bit. She had confessed her love for him. His parents had been right. There was someone who loved him and he loved her back. He was surprised as Susan lowered her head to kiss him on the lips, so soft, almost agonizing.

" A Promise," she said, referring to the kiss. It showed all her love for him. " You get better now."

" I promise." He returned the kiss, consuming her lips, possessing them completely.

Susan didn't expect this kind of fire burning inside Marcus, but she liked it a lot.

" I am sorry to interrupt you, Susan, Marcus." Delenn appeared, flanked by Lennier who was smiling at the couple.

" Delenn…" Susan only now realized she wasn't alone with him.

She blushed and Marcus adored her even more for doing so. " Entil'Zha." He attempted to bow but his body had not yet recovered from the ordeal.

" You need to rest till your body has dealt with the Tirash." Delenn turned to Susan. " I know you want to be with him, but the ceremony has not yet ended. He needs to be taken care off… You may return in two hours. John will also be present."  
Susan had the impression Delenn was dismissing her and held on to Marcus for one more moment to kiss him again, this time on his forehead. " I will return quickly. You stay put and listen to Delenn. No more hero stuff, get it?"

Marcus nodded. His powers were returning and he could now move his hand to wipe away the remnants of tears on her face. There was no need for words.

Susan reluctantly let go of him and walked to the doorway, looking back once more, afraid to leave him.

" I will be fine, don't worry."

Marcus' sounded stronger and reassured he was doing okay, she left.

Marcus followed every move she made till she’d disappeared from sight. She loved him. It was more than he had dared to hope for.

" Marcus, welcome back. How do you feel?" Delenn and Lennier helped him to get up from the bed.

" Tired, but I feel stronger every minute. What was in that brew?"

Delenn smiled. It was obvious Marcus felt well enough to joke again. But when she looked in his eyes she saw the change he had yearned for. The pain was gone. " Lennier will help you dress for the final ceremony. Drink this, it will accelerate the return of your strength."

Marcus obeyed, thirsty, he drank the sweet liquid. He dreaded this last part of Chulendra. Delenn was going to assemble all rangers and command staff to witness his appointment, inauguration as Zha'lafi. He was already nervous as hell.

 

(One hour later.)

 

" Lennier, do I really have to wear this? It makes me stand out from the crowd. It will interfere with my anonymity as a ranger. They will know it is me!" Marcus was doing his best to annoy the hell out of Lennier. The Minbari had forced him to accept his new uniform. It didn't differ that much from his old one except for the fact that it was black.

" You are not getting out of it, so stop wincing, Marcus. Or I might actually do something to shut you up." Marcus looked hurt at his friend. But Lennier didn't buy that expression for one second. Marcus was up to his old tricks.

" I wish I could pass out again and wake up when all this is over and done with. Lennier, do you have any idea how it feels when everybody stares at you? Standing next to Delenn as her successor... I’m bloody nervous."

" You will be fine, trust me, Marcus." Lennier straightened out Marcus' new uniform for the last time.

" I can get into the cloak myself, Lennier."

" I insist." Lennier helped him getting into the last piece of ranger regalia showing new appointment within the ranger organization. Without any hesitation, Lennier grabbed Marcus’ arm and led him to Delenn, who was waiting for him. Marcus searched the conference room for familiar faces. He estimated almost 100 rangers were present. He saw the Captain, Garibaldi and Stephen. Susan was standing up front, dressed in uniform as this was a formal occasion. Marcus took his place at Delenn’s side.

" Let it be known that there is a ranger who has proven to be worthy to be Zha'lafi. From this day on I will speak through him. Every order he gives, will be carried out. He is to be obeyed as I am. He is my successor. You all know him. Marcus is my second in command." Some humans started to applaud and the Minbari bowed deeply.

Marcus was grateful as hell he didn't have to say anything. His installment as Zha'lafi was now official and his friends walked over to him to congratulate him. Delenn went over to Sheridan and gave Marcus the chance to get comfortable with Stephen, Lennier and Susan. Marcus closed in on Susan, assessing if she would mind being kissed in public. He knew she valued her privacy.

But Susan made the choice for him and slipped an arm around his waist and kissed him on his lips.

Marcus heard a general sound of approval swirling through the room.

" Congratulations, Marcus. Lennier got me worried when he told me of that poison. Crazy Minbari rituals." Stephen shook his hand, enjoying seeing his friends this happy.

Susan whispered in Marcus' ear, " Can't we leave? I want to be alone with you."

Marcus swallowed; Susan trembled at his touch and there was a passion in her eyes he had never seen before.

Marcus let go of another sigh. Delenn had made it quite clear that he had no permission to leave this soon. This ceremony was to honor him and it would be rather impolite if he left now. Resigned, Susan and Marcus stayed close to each other.

Susan had noticed the confused looks on Sheridan and Garibaldi’s face when she’d kissed Marcus. It seemed like rumors had not yet reached C&C. She was a bit surprised that Stephen acted like he had always known they would end up together. Curiosity won and Susan sneaked over to Stephen’s side. " You don't look surprised seeing me and Marcus together."

Stephen smiled. Knowing Marcus would back him up, he answered her. " Marcus told me a long time ago he was in love with you. It still puzzles me why it took you so long to discover he loves you."

Susan looked at Marcus, who was apparently cheesed off at having to stay here. " I know. It's strange. But I’m so glad he didn't die. I’m looking forward to sharing my life with him."

" You already have mellowed a bit, Susan. I think the two of you are going to be very happy."

" Thanks, Stephen." Susan returned to Marcus' side and smiled at him. It didn't happen that often that someone managed to annoy him. But Delenn had done just that. The next hour seemed to last an entire night. Susan felt tired and she could see from the expression on his face he was exhausted too. Finally the last guest departed and Delenn came over to the couple, accompanied by Sheridan.

" You have permission to leave now. You don't have to report to duty tomorrow, Marcus. I am giving you the day off, you need to rest a bit."

" Same thing applies for you, Susan. C&C will be a lot quieter when you are not around, driving my men nuts. Bye Susan, Marcus." Delenn and Sheridan left.

Marcus took her hand in his and looked in her blue eyes. " May I walk you to your quarters?"

" Of course." Susan took his arm and content they walked to her quarters.” I’m really tired. Why did it take so long for the last person to depart?" Susan mumbled, not able to suppress a yawn. It was already past midnight and both of them had missed a lot of sleep. They reached her door and Marcus let go of her. Susan noticed he had problems keeping his eyes open. This Chulendra ceremony had worn him out.

" Breakfast tomorrow, my place?" Marcus felt trepidation through his whole body, but it wasn't something a good night’s sleep couldn't cure.

" Do you want to join me for a drink? Please?" Susan opened the door and ordered the computer to dim the lights. Marcus' hesitation was obvious as she watched him. She knew what was worrying him and wanted to put his mind at ease. " I promise to take it slow, step by step. Do you trust me?'

" With my life."

Susan knew he was sincere. His eyes were filled with anxiety and exhaustion. Susan took his hand and led him into her quarters. He followed her to the couch and sat down. Susan filled their glasses. No vodka, but wine and handed him the glass.

" You know, I still remember my adventure with that bottle of vodka ..." He looked at the content of the glass as if it would turn into an evil spirit and attack him.

It made Susan chuckle. " Don't worry. One glass of wine won't hurt you." Susan watched him sip and emptied her glass herself.

" I really should be going now. I hope I can make it back to my quarters before I fall asleep, propped up against the wall of the corridors."

" Why don't you stay here? My bed is big enough for the two of us." Susan witnessed the return of his nervousness. She reminded herself she had to take it slow with him. She didn't want him too petrified to touch her.

" Susan..."

" I’m talking about getting some sleep, Marcus. You’re not the only one who can wait. I have the patience to wait till you are ready to make love to me."

Marcus blushed when she spoke the last sentence. Susan smiled, a bit nervous herself but determined not to show him. " How do you do that?"

" What?" Marcus looked at her, truly confused.

" Blush. I have never seen a man your age blush like that. I think that is what made me fall in love with you in the first place. I have never seen a blush turn in something that erotic before."

His blush deepened even more at her words. Susan knew she would never let go of him again as long as they lived. She went over to him, pulled him up from the couch and walked him to the bed. " I will slip into my nightgown. We both need sleep, desperately." Susan grabbed her blue nightgown and disappeared into the bathroom.

Marcus stayed behind, alone and confused. He shrugged and undressed except for his trousers. He slipped in to the bed and pulled the blanket up to his waist. It felt good to lie down at last. Susan mystified him at this moment but he trusted her. He pushed the cushion underneath his head and released his fatigue. He wasn't planning on falling asleep before she had returned. So he fought his tiredness. Susan emerged from the bathroom a minute later. The way she looked was breath taking. Her hair was shining like silk and flying around her head like mad. The satin nightgown showed of her female shape and Marcus swallowed. " You’re so beautiful, Susan. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I never dared to hope you would return those feelings."

Susan heard the honesty in his words and lay down beside him.

Insecure, he pulled her close to him. She yielded immediately and snuggled up to him. He cradled her in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. She smelled absolutely fabulous and she was so soft. He removed a lock from her hair. " I love you, Susan."

Susan kissed him, passionately. It was hard to believe they were here, together. She felt safe in his arms and realized she was whole for the first time in her life. He was her soul mate and he had waited for her his entire life. " I love you too, Marcus."

He kissed her on her cheek and they gave in to their exhaustion. Marcus promised himself he would never let go of her again.

 

Susan was the first to wake up. They lay spooned against each other and she sensed his erection pressed into her body. Her desire aroused, she turned in his arms, but he didn't wake up. She leaned over him and started to kiss his neck, softly, undemanding. She couldn't resist nibbling at his ear lobe for a moment. Marcus stirred in his sleep but his eyes remained closed. Susan wanted him to open those marvelous green eyes. But first she wanted to continue with the exploration of his body. Carefully not to wake him, she pulled down the blanket that covered his upper body. She sighed, seeing his washboard stomach and well-trained body. He didn't have one ounce of fat on him. Her fingers sneaked up to his chest, touching his nipples lightly. Marcus moaned, moving slightly beneath her fingers. Susan smiled. This was fun!

Her hands wandered down to his belly and she was rather disappointed when she discovered he was still wearing his pants. But, that could be changed. She undid the zipper and decided it was time for him to wake up. He should remember his first time, shouldn't he? She kissed him on his lips, her hands caressing his face. " Marcus...." Susan longed to see him looking at her. Marcus' muscles tensed and he opened his eyes, staring at her. One of her hands still lingered on his shaft, feeling him through the fabric of his pants. " Marcus, make love to me... Make me yours..." Susan lost herself in his green, passion-clouded eyes and saw herself reflected in them.

" Susan, are you sure?" Marcus raised his arms and caressed her face, tracing her jaw line with his fingers.

" I am, are you?”

Marcus hesitantly lowered his hands and touched her breasts through the smooth fabric of her gown.

It made her shiver from pleasure. His touch burned her skin. Susan sat upright and pulled the nightgown over her head and threw it on the floor, wearing nothing beneath it.

Marcus' eyes grew even more dream-like as he saw her perfect body for the first time.

" Please, touch me, Marcus."

Marcus' hands trembled when he touched her breasts, feeling the soft flesh, willing in his hands. This new sensation made him feel humble that she had chosen him to be her lover. He sought out Susan’s eyes.

She could see something was bothering him.

" You will tell me when I do something wrong, won't you?"

" Marcus, trust yourself, we love each other. That is the only thing that matters. Just release your feelings." Susan leaned over, offering him her breasts.

Marcus sensed what she wanted him to do and he took one nipple in his mouth, his tongue softly drawing circles.

Susan’s surprise showed on her face as lust consuming her completely. She had to control her feelings or she would take him here and now. Marcus continued to caress her nipples and his hands were resting on her hips. Susan looked down at him, trembling as his hands strayed down below her stomach.

" May I touch you there?" His voice was filled with passion and patience.

" I beg you to do so." Susan wasn't exaggerating, if he would wait any longer she would explode with hunger for his touch. As his fingers touched her core she felt like being ripped apart by pure lust. Her mouth sought him out, aggressively. All this time her eyes were focused on his. They’d turned so dream-like that she wanted to be inside his head. She wanted to be inside him, she wanted him to be inside her.

Marcus was overcome by her need to feel him. He always suspected there was this wild side to her and now she was showing it to him. Marcus decided it was time to get a little bolder. He rolled her over on her back. Careful not to put all his weight on her he started to kiss her neck and continued down to her breasts and belly. " You’re all I ever dreamt you would be," Marcus whispered.

Susan answered him by licking his nipples, which had become quite sensitive at this point. Marcus threw back his head. Susan watched him, in awe. He didn’t only love her body and mind, he was worshipping her. A tear of bliss ran down her face.

Marcus noticed it and stopped kissing her, afraid he had done something that had hurt her. "Susan, you promised me to tell me when I was doing something stupid." Marcus kissed the tear away from her face, tasting the salt.

" You are doing nothing wrong, Marcus, love... I never thought I would feel like this. I love you so much I would die without you." Susan sensed that he was getting nervous now she had become emotional and she knew she had do something to assure him that everything was all right. She moved her hands to his waist, pulling down the trousers and briefs he was wearing. His clothes joined hers on the floor. There was an innocent beauty to him. She could see it now that he was sitting naked in front of her. It was Susan’s turn to be shy, his eager manhood exposed. She dismissed any shyness she was feeling and took control. She put her arms around Marcus' neck and raised herself from the bed, clasping her legs around his waist. " Make love to me, darling."

" Susan…" Marcus resumed the soft massage of her no longer dry inner core and was overcome by her wetness. She was ready to take the next step. " Help me?" He asked her, not wanting to hurt her when he entered.

Susan responded by taking his shaft and guiding him. Marcus fought for air as her muscles squeezed him in a hypnotizing rhythm. She arched her back, allowing him to sink in to her even deeper.

Marcus started to move, slowly at first, careful to please her and not to hurt her.

" Marcus, faster, please..." Susan clung to his body, her legs pushing his buttocks to make him pull her even closer to him.

Marcus adjusted the rhythm and Susan moaned, thankful. Marcus stopped thinking at that point when primal instincts took over. While moving together he suckled her nipples, thinking he was going insane as he sensed her orgasm, clenching him in a way he never thought possible. One moment later he came too. They looked into each other’s eyes, seeing the beauty and kindness that had made this first time so special.

Susan hadn't been able yet to recover from the fire that Marcus had lit inside her. She guessed that once his insecurity was gone, he would be quite a fiery, wild lover, thinking of their pleasure, instead of only his own.

" I love you, Susan... I had no idea it would be like this... I’m in heaven and don't want to leave."

Now it was Susan who blushed. She had thought their first time would be clumsy but this had been perfection. Their bodies fitted so well.

Marcus withdrew from her, only to gather her in his arms again. He leaned on his elbows and kissed her eyes, his breath caressing her without realizing it.

Susan traced the line of his beard, which itched a bit when he kissed her. " You’re a virgin no longer, Marcus. Had I known making love to you would be this addictive I would have taken you a long time ago."

Marcus stroked her brow, caressing her face with his eyes. It was almost supernatural, they way he touched her, almost like a joining of their minds.

" I don't think I would have objected, my love." He lay down next to her, marveling about this soft creature in his arms. He would never again be able to live without her, she was the other half of his soul.

Susan’s eyes closed against her will, overcome by the power of their lovemaking. Wrapped in his arms she drifted off to sleep.

Marcus followed her minutes later.

 

The next morning Marcus slipped out of bed, pulling the blanket back in place so Susan would stay warm. He stood there, unable to move for a moment when he remembered last night. He tried to memorize her face as she lay there sleeping.

Quickly he dressed. He wasn't used yet to the black color of the uniform and felt like a rarity. He left her quarters and headed to his own. He only wanted to pick up the stuff he had collected for their breakfast and didn't expect to run into Franklin and Lennier who seemed to have some sort of discussion involving 'owing credits'. Their conversation stopped when they saw Marcus rushing down the corridor.

" Hey, Marcus. Did you have an interesting night?" Franklin called out to him.

Marcus had no control over the blush that appeared on his face and mumbled something. " Bugger, had to meet them of course." Marcus rushed on, ignoring his two friends.

Franklin and Lennier laughed heartily. " Lennier, you owe me 50 credits."

Marcus heard the remark and realized they had been betting whether or not Susan would take him into her bed. Marcus prayed he wouldn't run into someone else and luck was on his side. He made it back to Susan’s quarters without being seen by anyone else. By tomorrow everyone on Babylon 5 would know he and Susan were an item

He searched Susan’s kitchen and made breakfast. Coffee for her, tea for him. He made sandwiches and cleaned the strawberries. He was about to put everything on a tray when Susan walked out of the bedroom. She was wearing her gown once more. Her hair a big mess. But there was an incredibly warm smile on her lips.

" Goodmorning, darling. I wanted to serve breakfast in bed but you beat me to it. "

Susan prowled towards him, silent. Marcus was uncomfortable under her gaze. " Did I do something wrong?" He was at a loss.

Susan took a strawberry from the plate and traced the outline of his lips with it before she fed it to him. " Good morning to you too, Marcus. You made me breakfast?" Then Susan noticed the coffee, no caff, real coffee. Amused and once again relaxed Marcus watched her as she drank the hot coffee. " I needed that." Susan placed the empty mug on the table and helped Marcus to move everything on to the kitchen table. They sat down, unable to break their gaze. " I’m really hungry, you know."

Marcus tried to eat but Susan watched his every move, making him nervous as hell in the process. 

" I still can't believe it." Susan felt the need to explain her words. " You know I have had lovers before but no one like you, nothing like last night. It wasn't only a union of the flesh but also one of the mind. I don't know how to express it." Susan had thought hard about the times she imagined she had touched Marcus' mind. She should tell him she was a telepath, even if she was only a latent. But she was scared of his reaction.

" Susan..." Marcus took her hand in his, hesitant to look her in the eyes. " There is something I haven't told you about myself... and even though I want to now... I can't... I need some time... please be patient." 

Susan had no clue what he was trying to say. It appeared he had a secret of his own like she had. She couldn't condemn him for that, she was doing the same thing; hiding it. " I have some secrets of my own... let's give ourselves the time to tell the more traumatically bits when we feel up to it..."

Marcus was relieved. He wanted to tell her, but... he trusted her, he just didn't want to endanger her by knowing his secret. Marcus brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, reverently.

 

The White Star had been fully checked and was ready to depart. Marcus and Lennier made sure every crewmember was onboard before leaving. Delenn had asked Marcus to take the White Star for a routine pick up. Stephen Franklin needed new medical devices and he wanted to be present when the devices came aboard so he could detect any malfunctioning ones at once. Marcus wasn't accustomed yet to the rangers bowing to him and calling him sir. He was wearing his new all black uniform but didn't really like it. It would take him a lot longer to get used to being Delenn’s Zha'lafi.

Satisfied everything was in order he went back into the docking area to say his good-byes to Susan. Yesterday had been one long delightful dream. After breakfast they had walked the gardens and late that night Susan had insisted he needed more practice with his newfound skills in bed. The thought brought a smile to his face. Suddenly he felt two arms around his waist. He knew who it was… " Susan." Marcus turned and looked at her. Susan wore her uniform again. Both of them had reported to duty that morning and Delenn had assigned Marcus to a mission immediately, reasoning he needed command experience. Marcus had managed to hide his smile when Delenn had ordered Lennier to accompany him. But his smile had frozen when he heard that Stephen Franklin would also tag along. He could handle Lennier but Stephen and Lennier together meant trouble

" Hey, snap put of it, Cole." Susan’s voice made him return to the present.  
" Sorry, love, I was just wondering how I was going to survive Stephen’s nagging all the time."

Susan snuggled up to him, folding his arms around her.

" I’m missing you already." Marcus whispered the words into her ear. He thanked Valen that he would only be away for about 48 hours. He suspected he wouldn't be asking Delenn for any dangerous missions now he had someone to come home to. He had a hard time leaving her. But he knew he could never forsake the rangers. They had restored life to him when he arrived on Minbar after that terrible night on his colony. They had given him direction and purpose.

" Don't kill Stephen, love, we might need him in case someone gets hurts." Susan teased him. She loved the way he looked at her when he realized she was only playing with his feelings.

" Marcus, we are about to leave."

Lennier broke their enchantment and Marcus kissed her tenderly on her lips. His lips formed words without saying them aloud. " I love you."

Susan watched him disappear. A few moments later the White Star departed from Babylon 5, its course, Beta 1.

 

Marcus and Lennier stood on the bridge, watching Babylon 5 as it grew smaller.

" You are sad you had to leave her behind?"

" Yes, Lennier. "

Lennier noticed that Marcus babbled a lot less since he and Susan had gotten together. Lennier took his position behind the control manuals to the right of the command post. " Are you not going to sit down? It is your chair now." Lennier smiled at Marcus' stunned face.

" Blimey, almost forgot I’m in command now." Marcus sat down, a bit uncomfortable. Slowly he relaxed and flashed his diabolical smile at Lennier. " I would like some tea, scones and perhaps some nice marmalade."

" Do not tempt your luck, Marcus." Lennier returned the smile. He had noticed the change within his friend. It seemed a heavy burden had been lifted from his heart and the witty comments no longer were armor. They came from the heart, how sarcastic and irritating they might be. Lennier was happy Delenn’s plan had worked that well.

" So, this is the bridge. This ship is a hot little devil."

Marcus let his head drop between his hands and acted hurt. " What did I do that the two of you have to team up against me?"

Stephen patted Marcus on the shoulder. " Let me see, you were in med lab when Neroon beat you up. You drove my people insane and then there was the time... Do I have to continue?"

Marcus shook his head in despair. " How am I going to get through this? Keep this up and no ranger alive will have any respect for me anymore."

Stephen couldn't resist going on with this verbal brawl. He turned to a human, male ranger. " Do you have any respect for him?" Stephen pointed to Marcus who was sitting on the edge of his chair.

The ranger laughed and answered right away. " Of course I respect him and doc, if you don't mind the advice, you better treat him nice. It's a mighty hard blow when he uses that pike on your head."

Stephen realized he had lost their little duel. Marcus reacted immediately and extended his pike.

" You better listen to him, doctor."

" Yes, Marcus. I can feel it. This is going to be a very enjoyable ride." Stephen exchanged some looks with Lennier before he returned to the med lab the Minbari had installed.

Satisfied Marcus closed his pike, hiding it again underneath his cloak. It was time to get a bit more serious. " Lennier, you plotted our course?"

" Yes, we will arrive in 12 hours."

" Any... disturbances?” Marcus prayed this would be a smooth mission. Knowing his 'luck' some disaster would take place before they would be back at Babylon 5 again.

" Except an annoyed doctor... nothing."

Marcus looked over his shoulder at Lennier. His humor could become a nuisance in time. //Bugger, I should never have encouraged him that much.//

 

The pick up had gone smoothly and Marcus felt relieved no calamity had occurred yet. The crew was working together just fine and Stephen mostly remained in med lab, installing and testing the new devices. Stephen had particularly been delighted when he discovered the new neural scanner, which made it easier to test a person on psi-ability. The scanner could even rate the telepath. Stephen had been smiling but Marcus loathed the device. Stephen had wondered about that. He knew Marcus didn't like Psi Corp much like the rest of them but there had been something unspeakable in his eyes.

Stephen decided to try and find out what was going on in Marcus' mind… Even if that meant coming close to Marcus and his pike.

Marcus had accompanied Stephen to med lab at his request. He looked about, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another. He really didn't want to be here. He sensed Stephen was up to something and sat down on an exam table, opening and closing his pike several times, knowing it would irritate the hell out of Stephen. Franklin turned to him, a syringe in his hands.

" If you don't stop making that awful, annoying, appalling sound, I will put you to sleep."

Marcus smiled and slid the pike back underneath his coat.

Stephen returned the smile, savoring the little victory. " I noticed the look on your face when I checked the neural scanners. I didn't know you had any problems with the equipment." Stephen monitored Marcus' reaction. The ranger’s whole body grew tense. Stephen now was certain Marcus was hiding something.

" Drop it, Stephen."

Stephen had never heard such a chill to Marcus' voice. There was definitely something going on here and now his curiosity was roused he would not give in. Stephen walked over and sat down next to Marcus. The ranger avoided looking him in the eye, that worried Stephen even more. He realized he didn't know that much about Marcus Cole and intended to have a look at Marcus’ medical file in more depth when he was alone again. " You know you can talk me, Marcus. I know I’m not your closest friend but I consider myself a friend nonetheless. You don't have to keep it all bottled up. You might try talking to someone instead of hitting somebody out cold with your pike."

That statement had effect, even more effect than Stephen expected. Marcus looked up, searching Stephen’s eyes for lies, a trap. But he discovered only honesty. " You think of me as... a friend?"

Stephen was stunned by the sincerity of the question. " Yes." Then Stephen realized something else. " You must have had friends before, Marcus. Your childhood pals, the rangers..." Stephen could have sworn a tear was trying to surface.

Marcus looked at his boots, fiddling the pike with his hand. Stephen had noticed before Marcus resorted to that when he was jumpy.

" Not really... only one..." Marcus couldn't hide the hurt he felt. He didn't want to hide it. He had to start trusting people, trust Stephen. He had to stop pushing people away. Stephen had earned his trust.

" Who, tell me?"  
Marcus wanted to rise and leave but a little voice in his head told him to stay and talk. It had been a long time since he had heard that voice. When I joined the rangers... I was one big emotional mess, more dead than alive... It was Entil’Zha Sinclair who helped me through the rough times. Jeffrey... had a deadly sense for wit... I kind of adopted that..."

Stephen was astonished. Marcus had actually confided in him. But Marcus still hadn't answered the question why he hated the neural scanners that much. Stephen didn't want to push him. Marcus was beginning to open up to him, he shouldn't put any pressure on him. " Do you know you have many friends? Me, Lennier, Delenn, Michael and even G'Kar and John?'

Marcus shook his head. He had never thought they considered him a friend.

" You can talk to me when you feel like it, Marcus..."

Marcus nodded, he knew. But wasn't ready to tell his biggest secret, one he had carried along his entire life.

" Hey, I left out Susan, but she is more than a friend, isn't she?"  
Marcus didn't know what to say. He wanted to crack a joke but knew that would be inappropriate now he was opening up to Stephen. " Yes, a lot more. You know I have a crush on her?"

Stephen remembered their conversation while they had been locked up together. " Yes. So, I take it she finally gave in?"

In Marcus' mind appeared Susan’s lovely face. " I heard Lennier lost the bet?'

" Well, even a doctor has to make an honest living and if you can't bet on your best friends to go at it…"

Marcus was going to blush again, stupid habit. " Well, I waited long enough for her to come along."

Stephen stirred at that comment. He looked at Marcus with puzzlement. " You aren’t telling me... you can't be... at your age...?"

Marcus smiled melancholy and got to his feet. " Don't you wish you had bet on that too?"

With that statement Marcus walked out of med lab. Stephen reflected on the things Marcus had told him. He only hoped Susan had been gentle with the ranger.

 

Stephen looked at the work he had accomplished and felt satisfied. Med lab was now equally well equipped to treat Minbari as well as humans. Now his work was done he felt bored and accepted the invitation from Lennier to have some tea with him as his break was coming up. Stephen volunteered to meet Lennier on the bridge.

The beauty of the ship still surprised him. It only needed a small crew. Stephen entered the bridge. Everything was quiet, just the way he liked it. Marcus, seated as the king of the castle, watched him enter.

Marcus knew Lennier would be the next to hear he had been a virgin till two days ago.

" Marcus?"

" Go ahead, Lennier. Take a break." Marcus stepped down from his command chair and manned Lennier’s station himself.

" Sir, we are picking up a signal."

Ranger Damian Rachman sounded alarmed and Marcus knew his fun time was about to end. The screen dropped and Marcus’ fear became reality. A Shadow vessel was about to open fire at them. “Lennier, start evasieve manoeuvres. Try to get behind it." Marcus returned to his command chair and Lennier took up his position, adjusting their course. " Bugger, I knew something would go wrong." Marcus hissed it between clenched teeth.

Stephen looked on in horror. The Shadow vessel mimicked every move, opening fire.  
" No hit."

Marcus knew he had to think of something. At that moment Lennier managed to get behind the enemy vessel and Marcus gave the order to return fire. Lennier obeyed and hit the Shadow vessel quite efficiently in its center.

" I’m picking up a distress call, sir." Damian closely monitored all traffic.

" Jam it. If it gets reinforcements, we are in big trouble." Marcus smiled as he saw Stephen’s face, all color drawn, pale. The Shadow vessel drifted away, it had lost all maneuvering ability.

" Is it gone?" Stephen wanted to be back on Babylon 5. He was no fighter and hated being in troubled spaces.

" I’m afraid not." Damian’s eyes seemed glued to his controls. " Another Shadow vessel is coming in... sir... It’s a lot bigger."

Marcus wasn't able to stay in the stupid chair any longer and walked towards the screen. " Bugger, this spells trouble!"

Stephen joined him. This Shadow vessel was almost four times as big as the White Star.

" Sir, we have got a problem. It has locked its fire on us. We are going to be hit."

Marcus knew they were in dire straits. He braced himself for the impact. Stephen didn't expect this kind of force and wasn't prepared as the ship was hit. Marcus caught and steadied him. " Damage?"

" Jump engines are off line."

Lennier sounded worried and Marcus knew why. They had no change to outrun this enemy. Marcus looked at his crew, he was responsible for their lives. He couldn't let them die, he couldn't. If he wanted to save these people he didn't really have a choice. He resigned to his fate and took a deep breath. He wouldn't let them die, not on the first mission he was in command of. " Everyone except Lennier get off the bridge."

His crew looked at him in bewilderment.

" That is an order!" Marcus said it with every ounce of authority he had in him and that wasn't that much.

" Marcus. I am not leaving..." Stephen interjected, " You can't order me. I am not a ranger."

" Suit yourself, Stephen. Damian, get them off the bridge."

Stephen grew cold when he saw the look of determination on Marcus' face. Reluctantly the rangers followed his orders. To disagree would be mutiny. He represented Entil’Zha. Worried they left the bridge. 

Lennier who had been silent up to then, spoke up. " What are you planning to do, Marcus? Both of us know they are only toying with us." A new blast impacted while Lennier spoke.

" They can be stopped." Marcus walked to the screen once more.

Even Lennier heard the changed tone in his voice, it troubled him. It made him shiver. That had never before happened while talking to his friend. " We are no match. We lost our firepower with that hit. The auto repair system is on but…"

" They can be stopped, Lennier."

Stephen backed up a few passes and went to stand near Lennier. He didn't want to admit it, but Marcus was scaring him big time.

" And I plan on stopping them." Marcus added the words in an icy way.

It made Lennier think of the only possibly way to stop the Shadows. " They can't deal with telepaths, but Marcus..."

The moment Marcus looked at them, Stephen thought he would actually wet his pants as he realized his friend’s secret…

" Oh no, this isn't really happening. Marcus..." Stephen looked at Lennier for support but there was only a puzzled expression on Lennier’s face.

Marcus turned his back on his friends and ignored them for the time being. The Shadows were moving in for the kill. He had never used his powers this way before and wasn't even sure if it would work out the way he hoped. He concentrated on the Shadow vessel, trying to disrupt the organism and it seemed to have some effect.

" They are turning about, the distance is growing faster. I think you made them run, Marcus."

Marcus sensed the discomfort from the fleeing Shadow vessel as he sent his mind chasing after it. He only stopped when he realized the White Star was safe from their attacker. Slowly the glazed expression vanished from his eyes, leaving him drained, both in mind and body. He had seldom felt this tired before. " Lennier? "  
" They are gone. Jump engines will be on line in 2 or 3 hours. We have taken a lot of damage."

Stephen carefully walked over to Marcus and was relived to look in Marcus' lucid eyes. " Marcus, you owe us an explanation."

Marcus nodded, closed his eyes and crumbled to the floor as he fainted.

" Shit!" Stephen tried to catch him but Marcus had totally surprised him. He turned to Lennier for help.

" I am going to let the crew back in. They need to take care of the repair actions. Then I will assist you in getting Marcus to the med lab facility." Lennier didn't waste any time and the crew returned only moments later.

Damian had seen how quickly the Shadows had abandoned their attack. He was mesmerized by the reason why. The White Star hadn't fired one single shot.

Several crewmembers flinched as they discovered Marcus lying on the floor. Stephen could see how they all arrived at the same conclusion; Marcus had to be a telepath. // And a powerful one too!//

"No one is allowed to speak of what happened here. You are all sworn to silence." Lennier left his controls to Damian who reverently bowed to Marcus. In his mind there was no doubt left that Marcus had saved all their lives. Lennier helped Stephen to get Marcus to his feet. " As soon as the jump engines are back on line, open a jump hole and get us home. If there is something wrong, call us in med lab."

Lennier and Stephen carried Marcus to the medical facility. Marcus was still unconsciousness. Stephen knew from previous experiences with other telepaths that the use of their telepathic powers could literally drain them.

" I had no idea..."

Stephen’s look was filled with disbelief. " Neither did I. I think I know now why he hated those neural scanners. But it still doesn’t' t explain why we never suspected him being a telepath, I read his medical file an hour ago, He was tested by Psi Corps but the test results were negative. Could it be possible that Marcus got away with tricking them into believing he was normal?"

They had reached med lab and they laid Marcus down on an exam bed. Stephen wished he could run a neural scan but Marcus would kill him should he do that without his permission. Marcus was exhausted but would regain consciousness soon.

" He saved our lives by revealing his secret to us." Lennier studied Marcus' face. It bore a scared look.

" But why keep it secret till now? When he joined the rangers he wasn't an Earth-citizen anymore and Psi Corps couldn't claim him."

Marcus stirred, waking up again and felt crushed, like a ton of bricks had fallen on his head. He never thought the headache would be this bad. He carefully opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. Stephen was hovering over him to check his vitals. Marcus didn't want to see the resentment on his face. He also heard Lennier breathing. He didn't want to face reality, he wanted to black out.

" Marcus, how are you feeling?"

Marcus was too afraid to hope that he heard compassion in Stephen’s voice. He daren't hope his former friend would forgive him for keeping a secret this dark and hideous. Marcus couldn't answer, scared to death his voice would give his fear away.

" I know you are awake, Marcus, don't push us away. Remember our little talk we had about friendship? You don't have to go through this alone." Stephen hoped Marcus had enough faith and trust to give it a try.

Marcus wanted to reach out so badly, but he knew people resented telepaths in general. They were ' not normal ' and therefore despised. Marcus' soul had felt the warmth of having a friend to share the pain with. He wasn't able to be alone again. Not after Stephen had made him start talking to him. Marcus opened his eyes and searched Stephen and Lennier’s eyes.

" Marcus, I think there is something you need to tell us. Do you feel up to it?"

Marcus tried to get up but was too weak so he resigned and lay down again. He looked questioningly at Lennier who seemed to understand what was going on in his mind.

" Do not worry, the crew is safe and the enemy gone. The auto repair system is engaged and should anything happen, Damian will contact us. Now rest my friend and unburden your troubled heart."

Marcus stifled a smile. Trust Lennier to come up with something philosophical like that. He tried to find a way to begin this tale. " Help me sit up?" Marcus felt a lot better now but was still too weak to get back to his feet. Lennier helped him. His friends were watching him, waiting. Marcus knew he had to tell his biggest secret, the secret he was too afraid to tell Susan. " Can I have something to drink?" Marcus was trying to put off the inevitable and Stephen knew it. Lennier filled a glass with water and handed it to him and he quickly emptied the glass. " I... don't know where to start." Marcus admitted to his friends.

" Try, Marcus." Stephen pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. He was extremely curious to hear this story.

" My parents... were telepaths... Psi Corps didn't find them because we moved around a lot and we had a friend within in the Corps who changed their files..." Marcus faltered. Only once before had he told someone of his telepathic powers.

" Continue." Lennier watched him intensely.

It made Marcus want to be somewhere else. " I... am the oldest son. My brother William was 2 years younger. "

Stephen heard the pain in his voice as he said his brother’s name. But he knew he had to patient. Marcus would tell them his story but he needed time.

" We grew up together. We were very happy, till Psi Corps wanted to run a routine check on the inhabitants of the colony." Marcus saw Stephen’s raised eyebrows.

" Colony?"

" We lived in a mining colony, trying to get the place together. Building a new city was hard work... Psi Corps sent this telepath, I think he was a p 10, quite strong enough to test everyone. My parents had already been tested once so they didn't have to do it for the second time. William was no teep and I was in big trouble."

Marcus stopped talking and Lennier asked; " The one who helped to protect your parents, couldn't he help?'

" No, my uncle had been... terminated by the Corps because he refused to run a deep scan on a small child."

" So how did you escape the Corps?"

Marcus gazed at his fingers, searching for words. " When it was my turn I walked in there fully expecting to be taken away from my parents. I was about 15 and realized the danger I was in. I only had one chance. I had to fool the Psi Cop. I don't know how I did it but I planted the idea in his mind that I was normal and strangely enough it worked. He left the colony and I was safe for the time being."

Lennier and Stephen exchanged looks. If Marcus was strong enough to block a P 10 telepath... It was Stephen who spoke first after Marcus fell silent. He was a doctor and Marcus had been his patient for the last year and what a patient he had been...! " Marcus, do you know how strong you are?"

Marcus shook his head. " No, I was never tested or trained. "

It was Lennier who came up with an unexpected question. " Did you tell no one except your family?"

Marcus' head jerked at Lennier’s question. " Only one person."

" Who? "

Marcus looked Lennier straight in the eyes as he spoke up. " Entil’Zha Sinclair. He was the only friend I had after... William died..."

Stephen leaned closer towards Marcus. This story wasn't ended yet. " I read in your file that your family is dead, what happened?"

Marcus felt like he was interrogated by what should be his friends. Oh, Valen, he didn't want to go through all that pain again.

Stephen and Lennier saw the conflict in Marcus' soul.

" When I was 24 William went off on this crazy chase to fight the shadows and he joined the rangers, led by Sinclair. He left me to deal with a lot of problems, our parents being the owners of the mine colony...I have to admit I was insufferable conceited. I tried to tell him all the time he needed to get his life straightened out not realizing I was on my own way to destruction. After his training had been completed he returned home to warn me of an upcoming Shadow attack. I really got mad. I still have a bit of a temper, unthinking rage... I laughed at him and told him to get lost, that the rangers had planted unreal ideas in his mind. He looked at me with so much pity and anger. I still grow cold when I envision that stare. Well, to cut a long story short, the Shadows attacked... killed my parents..." Marcus couldn't go on. Tears filled his eyes and he felt so terribly alone.

Stephen felt his friend’s loneliness and reached out to touch Marcus' shoulder to comfort him. He put his arm around him and they sat in silence.

" William died during the crash. I knew he would die..." Marcus paused and found Stephen staring at him. "You have no idea how it feels when you are a telepath and your brother is dying in your arms. He knew I was a teep and had told me never to get into his mind. I had never broken that oath, till then. I reached out and felt his mind grow weaker. I... almost followed him into death... I will never forget his pain... I will never forget my shame to intrude on his last moments, stealing into his mind..."

Marcus wiped away the tears that were dripping from his face. He took a moment to collect himself and decided it was time to tell the last piece of his story. " I swore to join the rangers....to take William’s place... a penance...." Marcus rubbed his temples, the headache was only diminishing slowly. He accepted the glass of water Lennier handed him. His voice had become rough and cracked. Expecting nothing he looked at Lennier and Stephen’s face. He was strangely touched to see sympathy on Stephen’s face.

" And you kept this all from us? Damned, Marcus. I am not a licensed counselor but this hurt could destroy you in the end."

" I know. I was able to let go of most of the guilt. When I drank the Tirash and faced certain death I realized I wasn’t responsible for my family’s death, but I can't forgive myself for breaking the promise I gave my brother. I should have stayed out of his mind, but we had had a fight before the attack and we were angry at each other. To me it seemed the only way to get peach of mind before he died."

" Marcus, will you allow me to run a neural scan on you? I need to know these things as your doctor. I am sworn to keep all this confidential so don't be afraid I will tell. Only with your consent."

Marcus disliked the idea but knew Stephen was right; the doctor had to know his patient’s history. Reluctantly he gave in.

Stephen rose and carried back the scanner. Marcus hated the feel of the electrodes on his temple and forehead.

" It will only take a couple of minutes and you won't feel any pain. Just relax, Marcus." Stephen switched on the machine.

Marcus braced himself for pain but he didn't feel a thing. He looked uncomfortably at Lennier who smiled encouragingly at him.

Stephen closely monitored the test results. " All right, Marcus. We are done." Stephen freed him from the machine and walked back to look at the readings.

Marcus watched his eyes go wild when Stephen stared at him. " You’re scaring me, Stephen," Marcus whispered, insecure of the test results.

" Marcus, according to the results you should be P 11 or P 12. "

Marcus felt ill at ease. It was far worse than he’d expected.

" No wonder you could trick the psi cop. Marcus, your rating is extremely high, you realize that, don't you?"

Marcus simply nodded.

" You will have to tell Delenn when you feel up to it."

Marcus listened to Lennier’s comment and knew he was right. " I know, but please, let me tell Susan first. I would hate it if she heard it from some else. She is so afraid of Psi Corps"

Stephen suddenly remembered a conversation he had had with Sheridan. The Captain had asked him to check Susan’s file for any clues that could lead the Corps to suspect she was a teep. Stephen had found out then that Susan was a latent. Now, he wondered, knew Marcus that as well? Stephen knew for sure Susan would never tell her secret to anyone.

" Yes Stephen, I know she is a latent and I am NOT reading your mind. I think that was what attracted me to her in the first place. I knew it the first time I met her. She was so lonely, the walls around her so high... I recognized myself."

" Okay, let's deal with this first. I will tell no one." Stephen saw the relief on Marcus' face as he promised to keep quiet.

" I will keep quiet also, Marcus." Lennier and Stephen knew Marcus would need their support when his secret went public.

" I... want to get back to the bridge... I’m in command after all... though I’m afraid to face them."

" Marcus, you saved their lives. I don't think they will blame you for being alive." Stephen was stunned when Marcus shuddered, convulsed at his remark.

" Why not? I still blame myself for being alive..."

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Lennier had insisted to take Marcus back to the bridge. The ranger seemed turned inward, pondering. Lennier tried to figure out how Marcus could have fooled them for the past year. He had to admit that none of them had really been interested in Marcus' problems. He was considered a pain in the ass and somehow his personal problems never came up. Lennier realized they had all tried to avoid dealing with Marcus' obvious pain. Was that the reason that Delenn had insisted Marcus would be her Zha'lafi? Realizing the strength in him?

" Lennier, do you hate me now?" Marcus looked at his feet. He was too scared to believe his friends wouldn't desert him.

" No, Marcus. It is who you are. Amongst us Minbari telepathy is a treasured gift." Lennier opened the door, revealing the White Star’s bridge. The crew was hard at work to reduce or repair the damage the Shadow attack had inflicted on the ship. Marcus watched their response to his arrival from the doorway, apprehensive to enter, worried about their reaction to his presence.

Damian noticed Marcus' return first. The middle-aged ranger had been though a lot in his time. But there had never been a leader like Marcus. Neither Marcus nor Lennier knew that Delenn had asked him to keep an eye on Marcus, to see if he was up to the challenge and to be his aide and bodyguard should he need one. Damian saw the wounded look in Marcus' eyes and realized that the rangers would die for him, should need arise. Delenn had chosen well, he mused. The other crewmembers tried to find a way to greet Marcus, not sure how to proceed. Damian, the oldest human rangers present, was very much respected by the others and decided to make the first move.

Marcus wanted to turn and run. No matter where to, just getting away from their wavering eyes. He watched Damian step forward and address him.

" We are honored to serve you." Damian bowed his head, his example was quickly followed by the other crewmembers.

Marcus felt Lennier pat him on the back. He relaxed, his crew had pulled through and seemed to accept having a teep running the ship. " Thank you, Damian." Marcus walked over to the command post, still shaky, staggering on his feet from the drain of his mental powers.

Lennier stayed close behind him, to catch him should he fall.

Marcus almost fell into the chair. " How is our situation, Damian?" Marcus was tired but he had to see his crew safely home. Nothing else mattered this moment.

" Jump engines were severely damaged. They should be online in 2 or 3 hours. We still have firepower and maneuvering capability. "

Marcus tried to clear his mind from all the turmoil he was feeling. He had never intended to reveal his secret like this but he hadn't been able to let them die. " Thank you, keep the course and try to get us back to Babylon 5."

" Of course , sir."

 

Lennier and Damian had been talking for a while when they noticed Marcus had fallen asleep in his chair. Lennier wasn't really surprised to find out about Damian’s hidden agenda. He was used to Delenn’s scheming.

" I think we better make him rest. Shall I take him to the sleeping quarters? I will tend to him."

Lennier nodded. The White Star had not met with any more disturbances. Damian walked over to a now snoring Marcus. He gently shook his shoulders to wake him. Marcus reacted by nearly jumping up from his seat, expecting malice.

" What is it, are the Shadows back?"

" Sir, please calm down. You fell asleep and I thought it wise to accompany you to the sleeping quarters. It appears we are no longer in danger."

Marcus protested. " No, I don't need any sleep. I will stay."

" Sir, you do need sleep. Otherwise you wouldn't be sleeping on the bridge."

Marcus hated to acknowledge it but the ranger was right. He had not yet recovered from the unexpected use of his powers. I will go myself. I don't need a baby-sitter."

" Entil'Zha asked me to act as your aide and I am determined to do so." Damian made it quite clear he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

It left Marcus with no reply. Admitting defeat he nodded and got up. Damian followed him, making sure nothing would happen to their Zha'lafi. Marcus wanted to be alone but the presence of another soul soothed his troubled mind. He had spent too much time alone, he needed to get used to company, caring company.

They arrived at the sleeping quarters. Marcus looked at the tilted beds. He knew he could sleep everywhere, anyhow.

Damian walked towards the last bed. He rigged the bed so it would stay horizontal and waited for Marcus to lie down. " May I take your coat? You should make yourself comfortable."

Marcus already felt pampered. He needed to remind himself that Damian cared for him. He had to shut up the voice inside his head that was trying to make him believe he wasn't worth the attention. He succeeded. Marcus handed his coat and vest to Damian and lay down. Damian had already adjusted the room temperature so it would be comfortable warm. A nice temperature lured him into sleep. Marcus wanted to thank the ranger for his help but the minute he laid down he felt sleep creeping back into his mind. Damian looked at him for a couple of minutes, making sure Marcus slept calmly. Then he returned to the bridge, to assist the other crewmembers.

Marcus started to dream immediately, which was strange. He had not been able to dream for the last year. He found himself standing in some kind of garden. The fragrance of the roses almost numbed his senses. He heard footsteps and turned about. A Minbari was approaching the garden. He was still too far away to be recognizable. He was tall and walked in a rapid pace. Marcus doubted his sight when he recognized the man’s eyes. " Entil'Zha Sinclair?"

The Minbari stood now in front of him. He was wearing the traditional ranger uniform. Somehow this didn't make any sense to Marcus. The eyes definitely belonged to Jeffrey Sinclair but his features were that of a Minbari. Then Marcus understood. " This is you as Valen?"  
" Yes, Marcus. I knew you would figure it out." Jeffrey Sinclair observed Marcus' appearance. Marcus was wearing his new uniform. Sinclair nodded, apparently satisfied. " So you made Zha'lafi now? I’m impressed."

Marcus was about to answer when Sinclair, //or should I call him Valen?// started to laugh. He wanted to say something about Sinclair’s sense of humor when he felt some one trying to wake him up. It was Damian, looking confused.

" Sir, there has been an incident."

" Why did you not wake me, damn?" A black cloud hovered above his head again.

 

Lennier and Damian enjoyed the pleasant peace on the bridge. The repairs were coming along nicely and though Lennier had heard the crew discuss what was going on with Marcus it was evident they would support Marcus no matter what. The fact that Marcus had revealed a secret that he was that afraid of to save their lives had really moved the rangers.

" We better stay clear of that supposed time rift in sector 14. I have no desire to go time traveling," Damian joked and even Lennier allowed a smile to appear on his face. The Shadow attack had bonded them together. Delenn had told Lennier of her trip into the past with John, thus discovering the truth about the great Minbari leader Valen. Lennier had not believed her when she had told him that the Minbari leader was not born Minbari but human.

" I am picking up some strange kind of energy flux in sector 14. I think we better monitor that."

Lennier read the results the Damian sent him.

Damian looked questioningly at him. " Should I wake up Marcus ?"

" I do not think that will be necessary. Let him sleep as long as possible." Lennier didn't think they were in any particular danger.

" The energy readings are going berserk!" Damian raised his eyebrow.

Lennier had to give in. " All right, go and wake him."

Damian turned to leave the bridge when the White Star was hit by some kind of distortion wave. 

Lennier held on to his controls. The readings went berserk indeed. He and the rest of the crew were severely distracted when something started to materialize on the bridge. Lennier recognized the old-fashioned ranger outfit the person was wearing. Some seconds later a human was lying on the floor of the bridge. Lennier moved closer now the readings were normal once more. He could only guess at what happened. From the corner of his eye he watched Damian take off to get Marcus. Lennier leaned over the unknown ranger and turned him on his back. The human appeared to be unconsciousness. Lennier studied his appearance. He seemed to be in his late twenties, though he had to admit he was bad in guessing who old humans were. The ranger had shoulder long, curly, blond hair. A blond moustache covered his upper lip. His eyes were closed. He was well build, broad shouldered and tall.

" Stephen, I have a patient for you. I am on my way." Lennier didn't wait for the doctor’s response. He hoisted the unknown ranger in his arms and left the bridge, the crew trying to get things back to order again now the energy flux had disappeared. While carrying the human to med lab he noticed a strange metal object attached to his belt next to some kind of purse.

 

Stephen wondered if all routine trips were this confusing. He only knew to expect a patient. Judging from Lennier’s choice of words it wasn't Marcus. Stephen had expected to work on some medical issues during his trip but he realized that wasn't to happen. The door opened and Lennier entered. Lennier lay the unknown ranger down on the exam bed. Stephen stared at Lennier. He had not seen this Ranger on the bridge.

" He appeared on the bridge while we were close to the time rift. I have never before seen this ranger."  
Stephen examined his patient’s vital signs. Pulse was okay and switched on a diagnostically device to start some tests. " He seems to be sleeping. Perhaps some side effect. I don't know. Let's try to wake the guy."

It seemed that wouldn't be necessary anymore. The ranger moaned and grabbed his head, shaking it fervently. " By Jove, what was that all about?" His voice sounded like velvet but determined.

Stephen almost cringed. " The guy has a British accent. May God have mercy on us..." Stephen complained with a hurt expression on his face. His remark made the ranger look at him. Dark brown, almost black eyes returned Stephen’s glare.

" So, who are you and what are doing here?" Lennier asked, searching for facts.

The ranger looked at him. " A Minbari? Where the hell am I?"

" You don't know?" It was Lennier’s turn to be amazed.

" No, the last thing I know is Jeffrey grabbing me and pushing this... disk-like... thing in my hands. Then everything turned into a black, bloody black hole..."

" Jeffrey?”

" Yes, Entil'Zha Sinclair?"

Stephen was trying his best to understand the man’s explanation but failed miserably. But there was something terrible familiar about him. " Why don't you start with giving us your name?" Stephen thought it a logical question.

" Why not, I’m William Cole, Will for friends."

Stephen had seldom been so astonished before in his life. He intercepted Lennier’s glare. They were definitely thinking the same thing. Was this the brother Marcus had lost during the Shadow attack he had described? For once Stephen didn't know what to say.

" Sinclair whispered something about delivering a message to a Zha'lafi? I didn't know there was one." Will observed their eyes.

" I don't know if you have figured it out yet, but you traveled through time and that device Entil'Zha handed you must be a time stabilizator. " Lennier weighed his next words extremely carefully. " You must have traveled some years into the future. In this time Jeffrey Sinclair has... returned to his origin and Delenn is his successor."

The name seemed to ring a bell in Will’s mind. " The leader of the religious caste?'

" Yes, she has been Ranger One for quite some time now."

" Wow, this is heavy stuff. Never expected to get into the sequel of back to the future. I don't exactly look like Michael J. Fox." Will managed to sit up and stretched his legs and started to walk about. "Where are we? " The surroundings had him guessing.

" This is a White Star, a space ship equipped with Minbari and Vorlon technology. We use it to fight the Shadows."

Will shivered as they mentioned that word. " Shadows... unholy things."

Stephen was puzzled, there was one more question he needed to ask William Cole. " What’s the last thing you remember happening in your time?"

Will turned towards him. His face was ghostly pale, his eyes glimmering with some unnamed rage. " I returned home to warn my family of the coming Shadow-attack. My brother didn't believe me... The Shadows attacked and we were crashing. The last thing I remember is lying on the poisonous ground, dying, my brother holding me... invading my mind, the teep couldn't keep out."

A lot of hurt and anger could be heard in Will’s voice. Now Stephen comprehended a bit more why Marcus had such a hard time dealing with his telepathy. Apparently there was a lot of pain in his past when it came down to experiences with using his powers. Stephen forced himself to refrain from a comment. He was certain that the moment Will found out who was Zha’lafi, there would be a new war.

" Will you take me to your Zha'lafi? I need to deliver the purse Sinclair gave me."

" I don't know if that is such a great idea." Stephen was reluctant to comply. At least he wanted the chance to inform Marcus of the return of his brother to the living. Knowing Marcus' mental state as he did Stephen was afraid Marcus would have a total breakdown, being confronted by his brother.

Suddenly the door opened and Damian rushed inside. Following him was Marcus, out of his cloak and vest, only wearing his trousers and turtleneck.  
Marcus searched the room, sensing the unease in Stephen’s mind. A ranger slowly turned around. Marcus thought he was about to be swallowed by hell when he recognized his brother's face.

Marcus looked at his brother in sheer horror. This couldn't be happening. Impossible, he had witnessed his brother’s death that night on Arisia. But it was William, no doubt about it. He knew his brother.

William returned the stare, just as bewildered as Marcus was. It was William who managed to break free from the feeling of terror first as he remembered the pain with which Marcus had entered his mind, moments before he would die. William’s face changed expression so quickly that Stephen held his breath. The look on William’s face was not friendly, or caring. It was cold and anger started to build up in his body, tensing visibly. Stephen wanted to interfere but didn't know how. It was up to the two brothers to work this out.

" You!!!! It is really you, you bastard. Couldn't stay out of my mind when I was dying, could you? "

The words echoed in the room, almost knocking Marcus off his feet. He was still trying to deal with this unexpected visitor from the past. He and William had never been soul mates but they were brothers nonetheless with all emotions involved. Marcus was in no state to answer the accusation. After all, it was the truth. Marcus attempted speech but no words came from his mouth. William approached him and Marcus knew how furious his brother had to be.

" Never again do that, Marc!!"

Marcus was taken by surprise when William punched him in the face. Hell, they had fought before. But never had there been this edge to it. Marcus accepted the blow, feeling William was entitled to be outraged by his trespass in to his mind. But it hurt. The emotional hurt greater than the physical one. It hurt badly. Marcus took a step back and tried to compose himself. He had to remain calm. It would seem the attack on Arisia was still fresh in William’s mind. Marcus had not counted on Damian’s defensive behavior. The experienced warrior grabbed William’s arm, securing him. No one was to attack their Zha'lafi, certainly not a ranger!

“ Get off me!" William hissed the remark at Damian, who held his own, unimpressed. William flexed his muscles, hoping to break free, but discovered the older man’s amazing strength.

" Let him go, Damian. He has every right to be angry with me. I... think it’s better I leave. My presence is upsetting you, Wil...liam." Marcus stuttered while pronouncing his name. He felt the sting of the blow on his face, but ignored it. Marcus turned to leave when William’s voice called him back. Marcus expected another tirade but this time William’s voice sounded calm, almost curious.

" What are you doing on a Minbari ship? Why are you not trying to salvage whatever possible from the colony? You always wanted to be the boss in town..."

Marcus didn't look at William. He couldn't, he felt too ashamed. Hearing his question his brain was slow to formulate an answer. His voice trembled when he answered his brother after an uncomfortable silence. " There was nothing to salvage." Then he walked out the door.

" Lennier, watch our guest. I’m going after him." Stephen didn't wait for any reply but followed Marcus out the door.

Damian took up position at the doorway, making sure William wouldn't head for Marcus. Damian felt guilty and incompetent. He had allowed Marcus to be hit. When Delenn would find out, she wouldn't be pleased with him. He wanted to avoid making the same mistake twice and in preventing William to leave med lab Marcus would be safe.

William turned to Lennier who was observing him closely. The Minbari didn't show his feelings too often but now he felt the need to let go.

" You should think before lashing out at him. Did it ever occur to you that Marcus was in pain too, feeling his brother dying in his arms?”

" Marcus? You must be kidding. The only thing he cares about is money. I tried to warn him of the Shadows but he refused to warn the workers because work would suffer and he wouldn't make the usual profit. Don't tell me he cares." William sounded convinced and determined.

Lennier shook his head. He couldn't envision Marcus as a money shark. The ranger didn't have many personal belongings and the only money he had at his disposal was a small allowance paid to all rangers. It was obvious that William had to learn a lot about his own brother. Lennier only hoped Marcus was strong enough to deal with that.

 

" Marcus, stop running. I’m in no shape to keep up with you."

Marcus wavered but stopped to wait for Stephen.

Falling in pace with him Stephen tried to guess Marcus' state of mind. He still feared the ranger could collapse after all because of the strain he had been through these last hours. " I thought you two liked each other, being brothers and all that?"  
Marcus took a deep breath, he refused to look at Stephen. " It is not that simple. I was a brat when all this happened. I changed after his death, joining the rangers and having to deal with all the guilt. You know, there were times I fantasized about having him back in my life, but I never imagined it would be like this. I’m going to get Sinclair for this, even if I have to go down to Draal himself and kidnap one of those Zathras characters to ensure I can travel back in time."  
" Sinclair? What has he to do with this?"  
" Before Will appeared I had this uncanny dream involving Jeffrey Sinclair, in his guise as Valen. He was laughing at me. Face it, who else is able to send someone through time like that?"  
" Now that you mention it. He said something of having to deliver a message from Sinclair to you."

" Me?"

" Well, to the Zha'lafi. Those were the words he used."

" Now I’m sure Sinclair is behind this, but why?" Marcus remembered Sinclair’s smile when he said he was impressed by him being Delenn’s Zha'lafi.

" So, what are you going to do now?" Stephen wished the reunion of the Cole Brothers had been a happier occasion.

" Give him time, give me some time. I don't know. I’m still not used to the idea of having him around. My first priority is to get us safely home."

Stephen realized Marcus was blocking his feelings out. He had expected to find Marcus outraged or crying, but at least showing some emotion. He decided he needed to keep a close eye on the ranger.

" If you don't mind, I have to get back to the bridge. I have been neglecting my duties for too long now." With those words Marcus took off.

Stephen turned on his heels and walked back to med lab. Perhaps he could change William’s opinion of Marcus, at least he would try. He had a hard time seeing Marcus in pain like this.

Marcus returned to the sleeping quarters to pick up his tunic and coat. He readjusted the ranger pin and headed to the bridge. The angry face of his brother haunting him every step of the way.

All was quiet on the bridge. The crew greeted him with respect and he settled into his chair. He wished he had never accepted this mission. From the moment they had picked up Stephen’s medical equipment everything had been a mess.

The door opened and Damian approached him, bowing to Marcus as he started to talk. " I apologize for my incompetence. I should have diverted the blow. It is inexcusable."

Marcus could tell Damian felt he had dishonored himself by not protecting his Zha'lafi. " Forget about it, Damian. I deserve it. I am... relieved he got his out of his system." Marcus didn't want to make a fuss about it. This situation was already too painful to him to deal with it properly.

" There is something else, sir. He wants to be heard by you. He says he has a purse Entil'Zha ordered him to give to the Zha'lafi in charge in this time."

Marcus sighed. He knew this wasn't over yet. The hardest part was still to come. The moment he let the pain in to his soul it would devastate him. So, he shut out the hurt he was feeling. " All right. Give me 30 minutes. Then take him to the briefing room. I will hear him there." Marcus wondered how he would manage to face his brother for a second time.

 

William was pacing impatiently. He had not expected to find his brother here. He recalled Marcus' entrance. Only now he realized how much older Marcus had looked. The moment he’d hit his brother he had felt ashamed for losing control, but he remembered his near-death experience quite vividly. William had not figured out yet what was happening when Entil'Zha Sinclair’s hands had grabbed him as he was falling. Then he had been given that strange instruction that he was going on a mission into the future and accepting the purse from Sinclair’s hands. He had been faithful and hadn’t opened the purse but he could feel paper and something hard inside.

" Well, I guess it is time to introduce myself. Seems you will be around for some time. I’m Stephen Franklin, head of surgery on Babylon 5."

William was surprised. " You’re from Babylon 5?"

" We all are." Lennier mingled in their conversation. “ I am Lennier, Entil'Zha Delenn’s aide." Lennier did not extend his hand as Stephen had done.

William tried to memorize their names. They were interrupted by an incoming message from Damian.

" Zha'lafi expects you to meet him in the briefing room in half an hour." Damian addressed William by audio link only.

" I will see he gets there." Lennier terminated the conversation and studied Marcus' brother very carefully. 

" You have not yet told me why Marc is onboard." William really wanted to know this answer. Marcus Cole and this ranger ship combined didn't make any sense. He had never thought Marcus would allow himself to be hit him like that. Marcus might be a bragging idiot but he knew how to defend himself.

" Well, I think you better ask the man himself." Stephen short cut the question. He knew Marcus well enough to realize he needed to tell his brother himself.

 

Marcus clung to his chair like he had held onto Susan’s love days ago. Bugger, it seemed so long ago that he had kissed her. Marcus had tried to contact her but she had left him a message that there had been an emergency in the docking bay area and she wouldn't be home for a couple of more hours.

Marcus refused to rehearse the meeting he was going to have with William. He dreaded the moment Will would find out he was a ranger. Marcus fooled around with his pike, trying to take his mind off the upcoming meeting. 

The door chime rang and he whispered the first line of a prayer to Valen, halted, realizing he was praying to Sinclair. The man responsible for all this misery he was in.

William followed Lennier into the room. Automatically he bowed his head to the ranger present, not yet taking in his appearance. Then he raised his head and looked at the man who had been chosen to be the next Entil'Zha. He had to shake his head to assure himself he was not dreaming.

" I hear you have got a message for me?"

" What kind of sick joke is this, Marcus? That uniform is sacred to us rangers. You’re disgracing it." William’s tone was biting cold.

Marcus felt his courage disappear and wanted to die.

" No, you are wrong, William Cole. Marcus is a ranger and was chosen by Delenn to be her successor. He has survived the Chulendra and the poisonous Tirash. I think you should start paying him the respect he deserves."

Marcus could have sworn there had been anger in Lennier’s voice. He avoided William’s look when he answered Lennier. " Lennier, don't be to hard on him. He nearly died and then he travels forward in time to find his... brother. I don't think that was on his mind when he left Jeffrey Sinclair."

William had trouble accepting this reality in which Marcus was a ranger and his superior. William handed him the purse, touching Marcus' hand to assure himself Marcus was real. His brother looked up at the strange gesture but remained silent. He would handle this in a formal way, giving both of them the chance to recuperate.

Marcus opened the purse and a paper fell into his hands. He knew the handwriting.

 

#Marcus,

There are 2 data crystals and a letter in this purse. One crystal has your name on it. The letter and second crystal is for William, please make sure he gets them and Marcus, watch the crystal.

Sinclair.#

 

Marcus uncovered the 2 crystals and the letter addressed to William. Marcus slipped the crystal meant for him into a pocket of his cloak. He pushed the other 2 items towards William across the table. " He wants you to have these." Marcus felt so damn tired. He hoped those dark black spells of depression weren't returning. He had had them for some months after William died. He had sat or lain there for hours, his eyes seeing nothing, his mind registering nothing.

William took hold of the items and looked at them.

" I advise you to go to Babylon 5 with us. If you wish to return to your own time or whatever your plans are I think I can convince Draal to help you." Marcus was afraid to hope his brother would stay. He desperately wanted to prove to his brother that he had paid and made up for all his past mistakes.

" I think I will do that. Is there something I can do to help out on the ship. I heard a crewmember mention the ship got damaged during a attack?" William needed more information about the situation he was in. His first rage was gone and he decided he was curious about this time and ship he was on.

Marcus considered his brother’s question. William knew nothing of the technology of the ship but could learn. He turned to Lennier. " Will you teach him about the ship's technology? "

" Of course. He can help me supervise the repairs."

William nodded towards the Minbari, then gazed at his brother again. " How did the ship get damaged?"

" A Shadow-attack."

William shivered. " So, they are still around?"

" You can say that. We have been fighting them for some time now, sometimes we lose, sometimes we win." Marcus wanted to end this conversation. The pain was nagging at the edge of his soul and he needed to focus on something else. He would watch the crystal later. He had absolutely no desire to look at Sinclair’s laughing face. " It’s best to return to the bridge." Marcus got up from his chair and had to steady himself for a moment, reaching out to the wall. Damian immediately rushed to his side. " I’m okay, Damian, only tired." Marcus felt the weakness in his limbs. He was doing this to himself, depressing and weakening himself.

Damian backed off. William noticed the concerned look on Lennier and Damian’s faces. They apparently cared a lot for their friend.

Marcus led the way to the bridge where he took up his position. " Rangers, I introduce you to William Cole. He will travel with us to Babylon 5 and has expressed his wish to help us where ever possible."

The rangers bowed slightly and resumed their work. Lennier gestured towards some controls, taking William with him.

Marcus was all the time aware of William’s stare. It made him cringe.

" Jump engines are back on line." Damian looked pleased, making this announcement.

" Open a jump gate and lets get home."

William watched, amazed at the opened jump gate. It didn't take long before Babylon 5 appeared on the screen. A link was quickly established.

" Welcome back, Marcus, Lennier, what the hell took you guys this long?" John Sheridan laughed. 

Marcus gathered his courage to get through this awkward moment. " I will tell you and Entil'Zha after we docked. It’s a long story."

" All right, Marcus. Meet me in Delenn’s quarter after docking. I just relieved Susan from duty. She was so exhausted Michael had to accompany her to her quarters."

" Thanks for the information, Captain. I will meet you there."

The link was terminated and William watched the crew working together while docking.

" Sir, we have docked.

" Thank you, Damian. Will you see to the unloading of the doctor’s equipment?"

" Yes."

Marcus pulled his cloak closer and signaled Lennier and William to follow him. This debriefing wasn't something he was looking forward to. They were silent on their way to Delenn’s quarters. No one said a word. William took in the surroundings. Everyone they encountered greeted them and it took them 20 minutes to arrive at Delenn’s quarters. William was a bit excited to meet the new Entil'Zha.

Marcus requested entrance and the door opened. Inside were Delenn and John Sheridan, enjoying a cup of tea.

William couldn't stop staring at Delenn. He had never seen a person with human and Minbari features.

She walked towards Marcus and his brother. Lennier received a nod and he went into the kitchen to take up his work as her aide. " Marcus, who is this?"

Marcus bowed his head, feeling nervous. " This is my brother, William Cole."

" Your brother? But I thought he got killed during the Shadow- attack on Arisia?" Delenn began to understand the weary, haunted look in Marcus' eyes. It would be hard for him to deal with the return of his lost brother. Delenn extended her hand to greet William Cole. " You are welcome on Babylon 5 and amongst the rangers. I am honored to meet you. I hold your brother in highest regard. But may I ask how it is possible that you are here?”

William gently took Delenn’s hand in his and brought it to his lips. Very reverently he kissed her fingers, bowing at the same time. " I’m honored, Entil'Zha that you’d personally welcome me. I was chosen by Entil'Zha Sinclair to deliver a message to your second in command. I don't now why. "

" You traveled forward in time?" Delenn believed William. It was something Jeffrey Sinclair would do.

Marcus and Sheridan exchanged looks. Sheridan seemed to be enjoying himself. Delenn looked at William questioningly and managed to retrieve her hand. She quickly walked over to Sheridan and sat down next to him. She beckoned Marcus to begin his report. Marcus cleared his throat and knew he had to get it over with. " After we picked up the goods the doctor wanted we ran into a Shadow vessel. It started to fire at us. We managed to defend ourselves and it had to break off the attack. It had taken too much damage. Then a second vessel attacked us. We had lost our jump engines and we were sitting ducks." Marcus stopped.

Delenn noticed his restlessness and realized Marcus was staling.

" I never told any one before, you know... I managed to stop their attack..." Marcus was having second thoughts about telling the truth and the presence of his brother intimidated him even more. At that point Lennier walked over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

" You have to tell them."

" I know..." Marcus took a deep breath and plunged right ahead. " Promise me not to tell any one else, especially Susan?"

Delenn and Sheridan nodded their heads. " We will tell no one. What is troubling you, Marcus?" Delenn kept one eye on William who was looking intensely at his brother.

" I... am... a... telepath." Marcus was relieved he’d said it.

" What? A telepath?" Sheridan brushed his hair back, trying to hide his initial shock. He wanted to grab the ranger, shake him, for not telling them earlier. He wasn't angry with Marcus but why had he kept his friends in the dark this long?

Delenn was taking this better than Sheridan. She sensed Marcus' fear of rejection. " Why did you not tell us earlier?"  
" I was afraid."

Delenn knew these three words were the truth. Marcus was full of contradiction and swirling emotions. Fear of rejection the prominent one; fear of becoming an outcast.

" Thank you for sharing this, even though it is a bit late. Were you tested?" Sheridan shook his head, disappointed Marcus hadn't trusted them enough to unburden his heart. Marcus must have suffered because of this secret. Sheridan knew they would have helped and protected the ranger no matter what. Marcus was part of the Babylon 5 family, considered member of staff.

" Stephen tested me after I managed to drive the Shadows away. According to his scanner I am a P 11 or P 12."

Sheridan got up and walked over to Marcus and looked him straight in the eyes in an attempt to calm the ranger down. He wanted to take away Marcus' fear… " Marcus, you know us, you don't need to be afraid we will hate you for being a telepath. You can be a great help in the war against the Shadows. If you are really that strong..." Sheridan didn't finish the sentence. //Marcus, a telepath.// Well, he had to admit he had been puzzled a few times. Marcus had intrigued him. He’d sensed the ranger had a secret, but this?

Lennier left Marcus' side but not before he glared at William, making clear he should support his brother in this matter. But William kept quiet. A more thoughtful look appeared in the ranger’s eyes.

" Marcus, you look like you had a rough time and your body will not have recovered completely from the Tirash. Why don't you and your brother go to your quarters and sleep for some time? " Delenn saw the blacks circles starting to show beneath Marcus' eyes.

" Thank you." Marcus bowed and William did likewise.

William followed Marcus into the corridor.

" I will take you to my quarters. You can sleep there. I have to make a visit before I can turn in."

William was too busy paying attention to his surroundings to worry about Marcus. He had never been to this space station before and he wanted to find out everything he could about it.

Marcus stopped at his quarters and typed in the security code to get inside. " The code is Desdemona. Make yourself comfortable. I will be back in an hour or so." Without looking at his brother he walked to the elevator and got on. He felt free, being alone again. He could hardly wait to see Susan and hold her in his arms again. He wasn't yet sure how to tell her he was a telepath. He was glad Delenn had not been angry with him but he had seen the short, strangled look on Sheridan’s face.

He reached Susan’s quarters. He didn't know her access code, he had forgotten to ask her, and so he used the door chime. A sleepy voice answered him. He hoped she would forgive his intrusion.

" Who is it?"

" Marcus."

The door opened instantly and he walked into the dimmed room. Susan was lying on the couch. It was evident she had been sleeping. He was sorry to wake her up. " I can come back later, if you want me to."  
" No, stay, I have missed you so badly." Susan stretched and got up from the couch. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him full of fire.

Marcus returned the kiss in the same passionate way. It was good to feel her warmth.

Susan sensed that something was wrong as she looked into his blue eyes and took his hand to lead him to the sofa. She pulled him down next to her and snuggled up to him. " What is wrong, Marcus? I’m a good listener, you know."

Marcus smiled. She knew how to read him like a book. " Something happened on the White Star. While we were close to the time rift an unexpected visitor from the past materialized on the bridge."

While Susan was teasing through his soft hair she watched him.

" It is my brother, William. I told you about his death..."

" Your brother?" Susan tried hard to understand. " But how?"

" It seems Sinclair sent him through time. He gave William a purse, which contained data crystals. One was meant for me and no, I haven't watched it yet."

Susan felt the turmoil he was in. She caressed his face, kissing softly his cheeks. She already knew what he was going to ask her. She would do the same thing should Ganya return to her. " You need to spend time with him?"

" Yes, we didn't get off on a good start. He is still... furious with me for stuff..." Marcus couldn't persuade himself to tell her he had trespassed in to his mind while William had been dying.

" I understand. I rather saw you stayed with me, but we are going to have plenty of time together. Stay with me till I am asleep?"  
Marcus nodded, gathered her in his arms and carried her to her bed. He stroked her hair and it didn't take long till she was sound asleep. He kissed her on her lips before he left. How much he loved her. He would make the lost time up to her. He didn't know yet how, but he would find a way.

On his way to his quarters he pondered his relationship with his brother. He knew for certain his brother loathed the sight of him. William would be on his way as soon as possible. To get away from him. Marcus shoved the hurt back into a dark corner in his mind. If he would let it in, it would never leave again.

A couple of minutes later he punched in the access code to his quarters. Secretly he hoped William would be asleep, then he wouldn't have to face him. But William was awake. He sat in the only chair in the room, watching him as he came closer. Marcus noticed the opened letter in his hands. Ill at ease he moved to prepare the spare bed he had in here, just in case someone needed to hide for the night. Some of his contacts had used it. While making the bed he kept his silence. The silence was mind numbing.

" Marcus, we need to talk."

Marcus startled at his brother’s voice. He wasn't up to an emotional discussion. So, he nestled onto the bed, his back to his brother, his eyes closed, still fully dressed. His pike in his right hand. It was his way to sleep like this, ready for a would be attacker. " Lights dimmed." The computer followed the order and the lights were set to minimum.

" Marc…"

" Not now, Will. I’m terribly tired. I had a unbelievable rough week." Marcus monitored his brother’s movements by the sounds he made.

William moved to the bed, settling down. " All right, Marc. You win this one. But we will talk when you’re rested." William was determined. Sinclair’s letter hadn’t answered any of his questions. He recalled the words he had read. Sinclair had apologized for putting him in this position but after watching the data crystal everything would make sense to him. Sinclair promised that much. William found it odd that Sinclair insisted he watched the crystal in Marcus' company.

Marcus' bed was surprisingly uncomfortable. When he’d entered his brother’s quarters he had been astonished to find them that Spartan. The Marcus he remembered had always liked luxury. The only valuable things in here were the books Marcus had collected. William remembered all the nights he and Marcus had slept in the same room, telling each other bedtime stories. There were nights one of them had the occasional bad dream and then the other one would comfort him. It seemed like centauries ago. " Goodnight, Marcus." William didn’t expect a reply.

" Goodnight, William." Tears dripped from his face. This was so weird! For the last 5 years he had slept alone in his quarters and on his missions. Before that he had shared a room with William. He cried himself to sleep, hoping William wouldn't notice it.

But William heard the muffled crying. He wondered about the man Marcus had become. He briefly considered comforting his brother but wasn't sure Marcus would accept that. So he listened till the sobbing stopped and Marcus' steady breathing convinced him he was asleep. William allowed sleep to conquer him too and drifted into the worlds of dreams as well.

Marcus was having his usual nightmares again. He was haunted by his brother’s death.

William woke because of the noise Marcus was making. His brother was moving about on his bed, softly calling out his name. William got up from the bed and walked over to Marcus. Perhaps it had been a mistake not to reach out to his brother earlier that night when he had been crying. William shook him gently, trying to make him wake up. " Marc, wake up!" William was glad to see that Marcus opened his eyes. It wasn't like Marcus to have such nightmares. His brother had always been a sound sleeper. William had envied him for that, he usually tossed for hours till he fell asleep.

" Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you." Marcus composed himself and closed his eyes again, hoping William would leave him alone. It had been the strangest thing to dream William was dying in his arms and then to wake up to see him alive, standing near his bed.

William understood that Marcus didn't want to talk about what had happened. He felt sorry for the way he had treated Marcus till now. He was starting to realize that this was a different Marcus, not the brat he had known. William sensed the immense hurt Marcus was in. " Do you have that nightmare often?" William knew from experience that discussing the bad dream could keep it from returning again.

" I don't want to talk about it. Please get back to sleep. I promise I won’t wake you again." Marcus knew he wouldn't sleep again that night as William returned to his bed. Marcus checked the time; great, 2 more hours till they had to get up. He pretended to be asleep, making sure his breathing wouldn't betray him.

William couldn't sleep either. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gazed at the form of his brother. This needed to be resolved. He didn't know this Marcus Cole. Something extremely traumatic must have happened to change him like this.

Marcus' thoughts kept running in circles till he slipped into sleep, half an hour before the computer would wake him up.

William, restless from the disability to sleep, got up and began to search Marcus quarters to find something to eat. He secured some teabags, cereal and milk. He boiled water and made tea. That moment the computer sent his wake up call.

Marcus groaned but woke. He was amazed to smell the tea his brother had prepared.

" I hope you don't mind, but I was a bit hungry." William brought breakfast over to the small table in the middle of Marcus' quarters. He handed Marcus a cup of tea.

" Thank you." Marcus warmed his cold hands on the warm cup. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat down on the bed.

" I need to apologize to you, Marcus. I... shouldn't have hit you like that. I was so outraged that you entered my mind without my permission..." William watched Marcus' reaction to his words. Marcus avoided his gaze.

" Apology accepted, though I don't blame you for that. I... stepped over a boundary that night." Marcus stretched his painful muscles. " Computer, any messages?"

" Yes, one from ambassador Delenn. "

" Play message."

William listened, amazed at how things worked here.

" Marcus, you are not needed today. Please report tomorrow at 09.00 for duty."

Marcus knew this would happen.

" They seem to care a lot about you." William studied his brother now lights were back to normal settings. He had not before noticed how skinny Marcus had become and there was something unknown in his eyes. Again, he asked himself what it was that had changed his brother this much. He wanted to mention the nightmare but reconsidered. It would be better if Marcus told him without being forced in to it. He thought back to the crystal in his pocket. Better to get it over with. " Shall we watch the crystal Sinclair gave me?" His brother started to protest so he cut him off. " The instruction in the letter said to watch it together." William rose and pushed the crystal into the playing equipment. Then he returned to the table to sit down on Marcus' bed. He noticed Marcus' stricken face.

A well-known room appeared on screen. Both recognized it. It was the exercise room in the ranger Training facility on Minbar.

Marcus remembered the time he spent training to become a ranger quite well. It weren't fun memories. It had been a tough time. He desperately wanted to get out of his own quarters. A sense of foreboding washed over him. He remembered the night he had broken down in Sinclair’s arms. Could it be possible that Sinclair had recorded THAT night?

William felt Marcus get tense. Whatever had been taped, it scared the hell out of Marcus. The image got brighter and William could make out 2 human forms, pike fighting. He recognized his brother and Jeffrey Sinclair. The two men were alone. It seemed a rather serious fight. Sinclair was wounded slightly, his upper lip bleeding. Marcus was in a worse condition. He was bleeding from his mouth and his right brow was cut open. None of them spoke a word. The pikes delivered the mighty blows to the opponent’s body. Again and again, repeating the same steps over and over again. The look on Marcus' face while battling Sinclair was one of unthinking rage and frenzy. " Marcus?" William looked at his brother. Marcus' face was contorted.

Marcus trembled and tried to make himself as small as possible, hiding from William’s eyes. He pulled up his legs and covered his face with his hands. He could feel the emotions of that night return to him, as powerful as they had been years ago. " I.. didn't know he recorded this…"

" What is going on, Marcus. Tell me. I don't think you guys are only training."

Marcus tugged at the end of the blanket, a bundle of nerves, on the edge of falling into hysterics. 

William noticed the state Marcus was in.

" I remember that night as if it was only yesterday..."

William paused the recording and waited patiently for Marcus to continue. The tone of his voice displayed the enormous hurt inside. Marcus reminded him a scared animal being led to its death.

" You know training to become a ranger is quite grueling. You have been through it yourself."

William nodded. He glared at the paused image. It showed a close-up of Marcus' face, blood running down his angry face. In his eyes an expression of pain, making him shiver.

" Well, I had trouble sleeping. I had nightmares all the time. In my mind I witnessed your death time and time again. It was driving me insane. In those days... I tried to take my own life a couple of times but every time I tried I was too afraid to pull it of. I also trained at night when the others were asleep... it took my mind of things I didn't want to confront. I ran away from the nightmares, only to find them haunting me in the daytime while I was awake as well. Late at night I entered the gym to exhaust myself so I would fall asleep without having to go through the nightmares. But I discovered quite quickly I wasn't alone. Jeffrey Sinclair was meditating. There was this peace and silence he radiated and I wanted to be a part of that too. But fear overwhelmed me. I couldn't deal with my guilt at that point. It kept me alive. I thought about lying down and simply die, but the courage eluded me. I wanted to leave immediately, not eager to disturb Ranger One. He must have heard me enter because he called my name and I had no other choice than to go to him. In my head the rage started to build up. He must have felt that. When he rose to his feet I could only stare at the floor. I had heard my teachers discussing my lack of patience and caring while dealing with the other students during the training. They weren't satisfied at all with my behavior. I tended to hurt myself quite a lot. Now I can confess I did it on purpose. The pain made me feel alive. It pushed away the hurt. "

William saw the tears appearing in Marcus' eyes. He decided to give Marcus the time he needed to tell his history. William now realized what it was that had been such a trauma to Marcus. It was his death. William couldn't even guess what Marcus had felt when he’d showed up on the bridge. He felt sorry for punching him in his face.

" We stood there for some time. Then Entil'Zha threw me the pike and we started the fight. I welcomed it. It gave me a way to channel the pain and anger I was feeling." Marcus looked up at his brother. " The Minbari said I carried around a lot of repressed anger, but at that moment I gave it full control. It controlled me. We fought. Somewhere along the line it wasn't practice anymore. I wanted to make him kill me. I attacked so fiercely that he would be forced to hurt me, even kill me. Oh, how I wanted to die. Death would take away the pain and I would have paid the price at last. Then the hurt and pain would stop. Stephen and Lennier accused me of a death wish even before I took on Neroon. They saw through my mask of wit."

" Neroon? The leader of the Star Riders’ clan?"

" Yes, he wanted to prevent Delenn from becoming Ranger One. We couldn't risk a civil war, should he kill one of his own kind. So I volunteered and challenged him to a fight to the death and he accepted. The bastard broke three of my ribs but he let me live. I still don't know why. He came to visit me in med lab but Stephen had shot me up with so many painkillers I don't remember much of his visit."

" You challenged him and lived? Challenging him to Denn-Sha must have been one of the most stupid things you have ever done and you did a lot of foolish things, I know."

Marcus pushed the button to start playing the recording again. William watched the battle between Marcus and Sinclair. It was a close call but Sinclair managed to disarm him and Marcus fell to the floor, exhausted and mind broken. Sinclair threw his pike aside and looked at Marcus with pity in his eyes.

William felt Marcus tremble. He made his decision and put an arm around his brother in an attempt to comfort him. Marcus stared at the screen, hypnotized.

Sinclair sat on his heels, raising Marcus' chin with his hands. " Why did you join the rangers, Marcus? And tell the truth..."

Marcus shied away from William as he heard his voice answering Entil'Zha. " I... am responsible for the death of my brother. He was a ranger. I promised to take his place."

Sinclair stared into Marcus' eyes. " Are you really responsible or do you only think you are?"

Marcus tried to look somewhere else but Sinclair held his face between his hands.

"I’m responsible. I didn't listen to his warning. I was so… stupid. I wish I had listened. William was the closest to me... I whished I could turn back time and save his life."

William reached out and stopped the recording. He had seen enough. It suddenly hit him that Marcus' wish had come true. Sinclair had sent him through time to be with Marcus again. William held Marcus in his arms. Marcus cried and the tears dripped onto William’s hands. " I never thought my death would have such a big impact on you, Marcus. "

Marcus managed to speak through his sobbing cries. His voice cracked, insecure. " That and... the knowledge I hurt you by entering your mind without your consent but when I held you in my arms, while you were dying, I couldn't leave you to face death alone. I wanted to stand at your side... I felt death... how it seized you... you screamed at me to get out of your mind and that was when I started to run. I ran… and somehow I wasn't wounded during that attack. I still don't understand why I didn't die that night... I deserved it… I have been running ever since..."

William knew the words Marcus spoke were true. He raised Marcus' chin the same way Sinclair had done and looked Marcus in the eyes. " Listen carefully, Marc. You weren't responsible for what happened that night. We would never had enough time to evacuate everyone and the Shadows would have attacked any way. I know I died back there. I don't know how Sinclair managed what he did, but believe me, had I died I would never have wanted you to think you killed me. " He pulled Marcus closer. 

Marcus allowed it, feeling safe in his brother’s embrace. It had been such a long time. William knew all his secrets. He didn't have to pretend anything while he was being held.

" You have to let it out, Marcus. I know you tend to keep it all inside, but you have to let go." William remembered Marcus' nightmares and understood what they were about. How was it possible that Marcus blamed himself for something he had no control over? The Shadows would have attacked that night, even if there had been hundreds of telepaths trying to stop them. " The nightmares will go away if you let go. Let go of the guilt, Marc."

And Marcus cried, after all these years of feeling guilty, his feelings exploded when they reached the surface of his mind. William held his brother, rocking him. He had no idea how long Marcus had cried and trembled but after some time it subdued and Marcus calmed down. William peeked at his face. Marcus seemed to be almost asleep. A rare look of peace on his face. William was moved by the intensity of Marcus' feelings. He had never suspected that Marcus would punish himself this badly. He had created his own personal hell. William asked himself what would have happened if Sinclair had not sent him back in time. He hoped Marcus would be able to start healing now. " Are you feeling better?" William wiped Marcus' tears away with a little piece of the blanket.

Marcus' eyes were red from weeping and his voice shaky. " Yes, thank you." Finally Marcus dared to look at his brother. He felt as safe as he had been when he was a kid, seeking comfort by his parents or brother.

" Everything will be all right, Marc, believe me."

He felt Marcus nod more than he saw it and laid Marcus back on the bed. Glad this had come out in the open. " Try to get some sleep, Marcus. I know you tossed and turned most of the time last night." William covered Marcus' tired body with the blanket. Assured Marcus was asleep, he sat back and watched the end of the recording. It was a message, spoken by Sinclair.

 

# I hope I did the right thing in sending you forward in time. Marcus is very dear to me and his hurt was something I could take away.

I am afraid his hurt will lead him to take his life. So I gambled you would forgive him, William. There are problems coming his way and he needs you now more than ever before.#

 

 

The recording ended and William hid the crystal in his pocket. He wanted to keep this crystal as a reminder of his brother’s love for him. And he wanted to prevent that it would fall in wrong hands. Marcus slept peacefully and William watched him sleep. Marcus had broken down in his arms, seeing the recording. William hoped Marcus was able to let his hurt and guilt go. It would break his heart if Marcus would succeed in killing himself one day during some stupid mission. He wouldn't allow that. He would protect his brother.

 

William watched his brother sleep for a few minutes more. Marcus seemed at peace and nightmares disturbed his dreams no longer. He debated mentally whether to carry out the plan that had formed in his brain or not. He cut the Gordian knot and left Marcus' quarters very quietly, avoiding waking his brother in the process. Marcus could use some sleep. He tried to find his way back to Delenn's quarters but discovered he was lost in the midst of the bowels of the space station. He was relieved to see a familiar face coming round the corner. " Doctor Franklin, please wait a second!" William ran to his side. The doc was just the man he needed to give him directions.

" William, are you settled in already? I heard you are sharing quarters with Marcus?"

" Hey, it’s Will for friends. And yes, I moved in with Marc."

Stephen gave him an inquisitive look. He wondered if Marcus was still in one piece.

William seemed guess his thoughts. " We talked things over. I never thought he would be messed up like this after witnessing my death. You guys should have kicked his ass to get him rid off the stupid self pity he was in."

Stephen smiled and was relieved things had worked out between the two brothers. " Don't kick MY ass for saying this but you seem a bit lost. Anything I can help you with?"

" As a matter of fact you can. I am trying to get to Entil'Zha Delenn’s quarters but all these corridors look the same to me."

Stephen knew the feeling. " I am headed in the same direction, mind if I accompany you?"  
" You are welcome! It’s always good to be friends with the local doc!" William laughed and Stephen joined in. He had the irritating feeling that things wouldn't be dull anymore on Babylon 5 now there were two Coles to make his life miserable. He hoped this Cole didn't have that annoying habit to play with his pike as Marcus did. Marcus could drive him insane doing that ' pike thing' of his. " I’m glad you two get along now. It was quite a shock to Marcus when he discovered you in med lab. He had just defeated an attacking Shadow vessel and was worn out. I was afraid he was going to have a break-down the moment you showed up."

" He did have a nervous collapse some moments ago when we got things in the open but he should be all right when he wakes up again. He is a lot tougher than he looks like. "

" I realized that when I read his medical file after he was beat up by Neroon. I don't know what it is about Marcus, but there were a couple of times the guy should have died because of his injuries. I have never before seen such a quick healer."

" Mum and dad wondered about that too. He wasn't even sick as a kid. I thought there was some injustice to it."

They arrived at Delenn’s quarters and Stephen gestured towards the door. William thanked Stephen for his guidance and rang the door chime. Lennier who opened the door, curious at the reason for William’s visit, answered him. William felt the need to explain himself to the Minbari. " I would like to talk to Entil'Zha. I want to ask her something concerning Marcus." He was aware of the chilly look Lennier gave him. William knew he had made a wrong first impression on the Minbari, and accepted the reprimanding glare.

Lennier showed him inside and told him to wait. William felt his nerves acting up. The request he was about to make to Delenn, was a little insolent. But his mind was set on asking it.

Delenn entered the room some moments later. She was surprised by William’s visit. She hoped he hadn’t come to ask her help to leave the station. She didn't want to hurt Marcus by having to tell him his brother had left him. " William."

" Entil'Zha, thank you for taking the time to talk to me."

Delenn beckoned him to sit down. They sat down opposite each other. Delenn tried to read the odd expression on his face but failed.

" I have come here to ask you a very imprudent question. I know you asked Damian to be Marcus'... bodyguard but I would really appreciate it if I could take that place. It would give me the opportunity to get to know him better. I think I misjudged him the first time we met after such a long time. I’m really sorry I punched him on the White Star."

Delenn wondered about William Cole. She had heard of the incident from Damian who had asked her some hours earlier to relieve him from his duty. He felt he’d failed Marcus and some one else would do a better job protecting Marcus. He had allowed Marcus to be hit the first day on duty. Delenn had been fretting about a replacement for Damian. She wasn't sure what William’s motives were to guard his brother’s life.

William sensed the uncomfortable silence and had his suspicions why Delenn was this careful. " Beside the fact that he’s my brother, he’s also your named successor. I would be honored to protect our Zha'lafi. "

Delenn decided to give him a chance. If Sinclair trusted William enough to send him forward in time to confront his brother, she should trust him too. " You should know that Damian asked to be replaced, his feeling of shame too big because of the incident he failed to prevent."

William was thankful she was this considerate of his feelings and didn't mention him hitting Marcus. " You will act as his aide or body guard if you prefer that term. Make sure the two of you report in tomorrow morning at 0900 to my quarters. "

Delenn stood, a sign the conversation was ended.

" Thank you, Entil'Zha. I am indebted to you." William bowed deeply. He watched her leave, in awe of this amazing woman. Lennier appeared again to show him out. William felt he couldn't leave before talking to the Minbari. " I should apologize for my behavior on the White Star. I was out of line... guess it was the confusion from traveling through time."

Lennier listened. He considered Marcus more than just a friend. At his request the ranger had fought Neroon. Perhaps that was the reason why he was this protective of Marcus. The ranger had been hurt enough for a lifetime. " Do not let hem down again. He needs someone close to him."

William felt the acceptance of his apology and took Lennier’s arm and led him to the door. " You mentioned being close to him. Tell me something more about this Susan Ivanova. I heard they are... really close?"

Lennier sighed, William Cole had the same annoying way of gathering information as his brother.

 

William had come to the conclusion that his brother must love a challenge. It appeared to him that this Commander Susan Ivanova was difficult to handle. It fed his curiosity and he couldn't resist going to her quarters, just in case she was in. He rang the door chime.

" Who is there?"

He liked the voice, melodic but firm. He was curious to see what her reaction would be to his visit. " William Cole, at your service."

The door opened immediately. He stepped in to the room, then waited. He wanted to give her some time to adjust to the situation. She approached from the little kitchen unit. William envied his brother, it was evident she was all burning lava. He was surprised his brother would choose her as his lover, but then again, he wondered if he really knew the man his brother had become.

" You are William?"

He managed to conceal his laugh from her gaze. The emotions flashing over her face were priceless. " Yes, I thought it would be a nice thing to introduce myself to you. Impatient nature, I guess."

Susan eyed him. The British accent reminded her of Marcus. But their appearances were quite different. Marcus was dark haired, his brother fair. He was a bit taller than Marcus and his weight was also a lot more. " Well... I’m Susan Ivanova." It didn't happen that much that Susan was lost for words. Of all the things she expected to happen this was the most unbelievable.

" I hope we will become friends. I really would love to have a little family on Babylon 5. Seems I am here to stay."

Susan tasted the truth in his words. It would be good for the three of them to get along, they needed some ties. Suddenly she felt she was neglecting her duties as host. " Would you like to drink something while we talk?" She expected a request for tea but he surprised her.

" Everything with alcohol in it would be great."

 

William chuckled on his way back to Marcus' quarters. Susan Ivanova had tried her best to intimidate him. He had laughed and drunk another screwdriver. Susan had been visibly taken aback when he held his own, drinking the vodka. He entered the door code and saw that Marcus was still asleep. He was going to change that. " Hey, sleepy, wake up. It is time to show me around the station. I am dying to get a decent breakfast, or lunch by the looks of it."

Marcus woke, a bit startled someone was in his quarters. Then he remembered his brother’s return. Abruptly he realized that his usual dark and moody thoughts weren't there. The presence of his brother made the darkness depart. Marcus stretched. He was still tired, but it was a comfortable fatigue.

" Then I should take you to the Zocalo. I hope that Damian isn't hiding somewhere to follow every step we take." Marcus got up from the bed and splashed some water in his face.

" Next time, Marcus, wear a pair of sweats when you go to sleep. Your uniform looks like shit. As Zha'lafi you have to set the example for other rangers."

Marcus grinned, William had always been brutally honest. He straightened out his uniform and together they left his quarters.  
" About Damian... he’s history. I’m your new bodyguard. Before you shout at me, I asked for the job."

Marcus reflected on this news. He couldn't stop his brother and frankly he didn't want to. William had always been stubborn. I would be good to have him at his side.

" Your Susan is all fire. I hope you don't get burned." William made the remark to see Marcus' response. It was fun watching Marcus start to blush.

Marcus stopped and looked at William. " What did you do? And don't give me that innocent face. I use that one all the time, I know you’re hiding something."

" Nothing really. I was only wondering when you would make me an uncle. I like babies."

Marcus almost regretted having him in his life again. He had the strangest feeling that William and Michael Garibaldi would be great friends.

 

< We need to do something. It won't be long before we are the laughing stock of the known universe.>

< What do you suggest?>

< Psi Corps needs to settle the score. We cannot allow any rogue telepaths running around on Babylon 5. We have to strike fear into the heart of every rogue who thinks they can fool us. Bester himself gave permission to carry out this death sentence. We will go to the space station and carry out the termination. >

< The both of us?>

< Yes, we have to make sure Lyta Alexander is kept in the dark. Bester warned me she could meddle in our affairs. Though she is loyal to the Corps she befriended too many people on Babylon 5.>

< When will we leave?>

< In an hour.>

 

Marcus and William Cole found a lovely little restaurant in Down Below. Marcus had a hard time remembering the last time he’d eaten with this kind of appetite. Everything seemed perfect in this little world. Susan had accepted his love, William had come into the future to be at his side and Babylon 5 appeared calm for once, no brawlers, no alarming calls from Delenn or C&C. The world seemed to be at peace with itself. Marcus wondered how long this was going to last. But he decided not to let it bother him. His motto had always been ' momento mori '; remember to die. But now he thought about changing that to ' carpe diem'; seize the day. Nobody knew how long they were going to live in this war with Clark on one side and the Shadows on the other side.

" Hey, Marc! You’re brooding. What is going on in that complex mind of yours?" William finished his lunch. The food wasn't that bad here on Babylon 5 but he had tasted better. He was still trying to fit all the part of the puzzle together, concerning Marcus. He seemed a lot more mentally stable than when they had first met. He was happy about that. He had hated the shadow of himself Marcus had been the first time they’d met. Marcus had always been the stronger one. Marcus may never have seen it like that but in some ways William envied him for his courage and strength.

" I thought about everything that has happened recently. This is the first time since your 'death' that I’m kind of happy."

" Sorry to spoil that great mood you are in, but when are you telling your Susan that you are a telepath?"

Marcus’ mood darkened. Damn Will for bringing that up. He was sure Susan was going to make him suffer for not telling her earlier. Marcus admitted to himself that he was scared of losing her love over this crazy issue. " Did you have to bring that up? The truth is I don't know. Susan hates telepaths. Her experiences with Psi Corps were quite traumatic."

" You’ve got a history with them yourself. I still haven't figured out how you tricked that Psi Corp representative when he came to check us out."

" I can tell you... from what Stephen tells me I am p 11 or p12. That is a very high rating. I simply overrated the guy." Marcus shoved his plate away from him, nipping some of the tea in front of him. William, officially off duty, drank a beer.

" Why don't you go to her this evening and tell her? It is better to get it over with."

Marcus laughed at his brother’s advice. " You don't know her that well. She’s... dangerous. She can beat the hell out of you. I rather face Neroon again."

William chuckled and decided Marcus was going to Susan’s quarters this evening, even if that meant taking him there by force. " Hey, Marcus, are you up to a little pike fighting? I really want to know who's better."

Marcus' laugh continued. //Oh Valen, I haven't laughed this much in years.// " Why not, if you think you can hold you own. You must know I was trained by the great Durhann himself, his first human student." Marcus knew he was bragging and for once he loved the feeling.

William was impressed, that was something he hadn't known yet. Marcus must have made quite an impression on the Minbari teacher. While he had been training, Durhann had only taken Minbari in as students. " Then I will have to be on my guard!"

William and Marcus headed down to the ranger training rooms, arm in arm, smiling. They were the only two rangers present in the exercise room. Marcus extended his pike and William started to circle him, searching for a weak spot in Marcus' defense. William quickly had to acknowledge that Marcus knew how to wield a pike. Without any warning Marcus attacked. William deflected the blow and succeeded in hitting Marcus on the back. " 1-0 on my account. Are you perhaps a bit rusty?"

Marcus smiled. He had never before fought his brother with a Minbari fighting pike and had given him some space to show off. Marcus fell to a knee and used the pike as leverage to kick William’s feet from underneath him. A curse left William’s lips as he dropped to the floor.

Both of them were too concentrated on the fight to notice three people entering the room; Delenn, Lennier and Damian. The three dropped the topic they were discussing and watched the fight instead.

William got to his feet quickly but Marcus moved even faster. He did a somersault and using his pike once more, not only knocked William of his feet but also followed up with a blow to his butt.

" Damned!" William realized he had underestimated his brother. Marcus was smaller and in this fight that was an advantage to him. Marcus moved a lot faster. William tried to get back to his feet. He had fallen face down and wasn't sure what Marcus was up to. The next moment he felt one end of the metal pike pushing in his neck.

" I guess this more than equals the score, don't you agree, Will?" Marcus had really enjoyed this little match but the next time William would try harder. He had surprised his brother.

" Bugger, now I know why Durhann took you as a student."

Marcus helped William to his feet. They turned about when they heard some applause. " Entil'Zha, Lennier, Damian. I didn't hear you coming inside." Marcus bowed to Delenn who was grinning.

" And you want to be his bodyguard?" She aimed the remark at William who looked a bit compromised.

" I know, it's disgracing, but hell, I never fought him before. I didn't know he was that good!" It was a mock apology and he returned Delenn’s grin.

" Just make sure he doesn't challenge Neroon anymore. That time Marcus met his master." Lennier joined in. There was a feeling of amusement in the air.

Marcus cringed slightly at the mention of that name. He wished he had not taken on the Minbari warrior. Not because of his injuries or a one month stay in med lab but because it seemed he was reminded of that little stunt regularly.

 

< This is way to easy. Our contact informed me that Lyta Alexander isn't on the station. That gives us the advantage.>

< I agree. It will make our mission much easier to accomplish. They don't even scan for teeps.>

< Well, us not wearing Psi Cop uniforms might have something to do with it. But it is much more difficult not to touch people without those gloves. I am glad the Corps taught me how to keep all these voices outside my head.>

< Is there any clue to the rating of this rogue telepath?>

< Yes, they guess about p 2. The rating isn't that high, but it is a matter of principle to Bester.>

< Let's go to her quarters. It is best to have the element of surprise on our side. I am still not sure why Bester requested the two of us. We are both p 10. One of us would be enough to terminate her.>

< Bester has his reasons. I think it has to do with his previous experiences with Babylon 5. He is overly careful.>

< Let's move, we are wasting time. I want to get back home as soon as possible. I don't like the people here, there is too much freedom.>

 

Susan was feeling tired. She had stood the midwatch and desperately needed some sleep. Before she lay down on the couch she checked the messages. Marcus had left her a one. His face looked clouded when the com system played the message.

" Susan, I need to talk to you. Could I come by at your quarters at 21.00 hours? I know that is late, but it is very important to me."

Susan looked at the time; 20.00 hours. She stretched and hoped she wouldn't fall asleep while he was in here. So she decided to take a little nap now. She made herself comfortable on the couch, looking forward to his visit. She missed him. The nights alone left her with feverish dreams of the one night they made love for the first time. Dreaming of his strong and protective arms wrapped around her she drifted off the sleep. She didn't hear footsteps entering her room. Two pairs of eyes watched her with intense loathing.

< It’s time, in her sleep she is most vulnerable. What are your plans for this one? How do you want her to die?>

< Her mother committed suicide. Wouldn't it be fitting if she also took her own life?>

< You want to invade her mind while she is asleep and...>

< Let her shoot herself through her head with her gun. That would be pure poetry, my friend.>

Susan was screaming her lungs out. Something had invaded her mind while she had been asleep. She tried to focus on the two intruders, a man and a woman, but her mind seemed to belong to her no longer. She clawed at the couch, found her PPG gun she always hid in her quarters in case she was attacked. But now it seemed this precaution would be her downfall. She constantly heard the same words repeated in her mind over and over again, unable to stop them.

//Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head. Take your life, shoot yourself through the head.//

" Shut up, get out of my mind!" She heard her own panic-filled scream. She was perplexed to see her hand, moving by a will of its own, bringing the gun to her temple. She felt the coldness of the trigger. Her finger twitched to pull that trigger. She was scared to death.

 

Marcus convinced William that he would be in no danger by going to Susan’s quarters on his own. The last thing he needed was his brother eavesdropping on his conversation with Susan. He knew this talk wouldn't be easy on both of them. It would solify or destroy their love. Marcus hoped Susan would forgive him. After all, she was hiding the fact that she was a latent. They were both lying. He fumbled the real red roses in his hands. The elevator stopped and he stepped into the corridor where Susan’s quarters were situated. He stopped in his tracks. All of his inner alarms were going off. Something was wrong. The more he approached Susan’s quarters, the more alarmed he got.

//Telepaths?// Marcus had felt the same sensation when the Psi Corp agent had tried to test him. when he was younger. Suddenly he remembered her request to seek out a Psi Corps spy before Delenn had him going through the Chulendra ceremony. He had completely forgotten about her worries of this spy being on Babylon 5.He carefully placed the roses onto the floor and extended his pike for any would be attackers. Susan’s door was closed. He was relieved she had told him the access code before he left yesterday. The woman was a romantic in disguise, her code being unicorn. He punched in the code but was not prepared for the side that greeted him.

Susan was about to pull the trigger of her gun, which was placed, against her temple. He heard the words the teep assassins were whispering into her mind. There was no doubt in his mind that the man and woman inside Susan’s quarters were Psi Cops. They weren't wearing the uniforms but their mind signatures gave them away immediately. Marcus was no trained telepath and he had no idea how strong the Cops were but he would die trying to protect her. He reached out with his mind to find Susan’s. He pushed away the Psi Cops’ presence in Susan’s mind. The female Cop looked at him in hate when she realized she was dealing with another rogue telepath. Susan looked at him and the gun fell to the floor. The hold they’d had on her had been broken.

Susan realized in horror that Marcus had been hiding a secret similar to hers. She felt his strength, overpowering the Psi Cop, freeing her soul. He shielded her mind with his own, to keep her safe from the assassins. She didn't only feel paralyzed, she was paralyzed.

" Who are you?" The male Psi Cop turned to face their new opponent.

Marcus shivered when he felt the man’s attempt to enter his mind and he blocked the Cop. Marcus had no intention of answering the man.

< What must we do now? This was not planned. We weren't told there was another rogue telepath, this strong, onboard.>

Marcus overheard the remark the female made to the man. He tried to establish contact with Susan but she was looking at him in total shock. She was blocking him and he made no more attempts to establish a link. He didn't want to hurt her.

< I know this one. It’s Marcus Cole. A Ranger, but we had no idea he was a teep.>

< I know our objective is to kill the Russian bitch, but this is a perfect opportunity. Remember, Bester told us the Corps needs new males to breed with? He would be perfect.>

Marcus didn't like this conversation. He had to get Susan into safety. The Cops seemed pre-occupied with their little conversation so he used the element of surprise. He knew he couldn't defeat them both. Two telepaths were too much to handle for him, they were trained and experienced in the use of their powers. He swung the pike and managed to hit the male Cop.

Susan’s mind was totally released the moment Marcus' pike hit the assassin. She was still in shock. There were two Psi Cops in her room and then Marcus turned out to be a telepath too. She wanted to go mad and shout at him in anger, but realized that would not be such a great idea. Marcus launched himself in her direction, picked her up from the couch and pushed her towards the door.

" Susan, get out!" After whispering those words to her he turned to face the Cops again.

Susan was struck down by the fear she felt in his mind, fear that anything might happen to her. His only concern was for her well being. She shook her head and started to run to a com link device to alert security. She hated to leave Marcus alone but she wasn't the help he needed. He needed security guards in there who weren't terrified of Psi Cops. She made a mental note to beat the hell out of him when the Cops were captured. How could he hide something so grave as this to her? //Well, miss know it all, you haven't been that honest with him too!//

Susan hated it when her conscience rebuked her. It seemed like the longest time before she reached a com link that wasn't smashed. Just as she was to use it Michael Garibaldi and John Sheridan came around the corner. She ran to them.

John and Michael were talking things over that happened that day while being on their way to Delenn's quarters. Suddenly a distressed Susan Ivanova appeared from nowhere. She was deadly pale and her eyes were big with fright. John was surprised, he didn't know Susan like this. " Susan, what is wrong, you look like… "  
" No time to chat, John. There are two Psi Cops in my quarters. They wanted to kill me. You got to go and help Marcus, he helped me escape but..."

John tapped his link and ordered security teams to Susan’s quarters. " Lets see if we can help him."

John and Michael drew their guns and keeping protectively in front of Susan marched to her quarters. Michael peeked around the corner, the complete silence being a bad omen to him. Susan hid behind John’s back, after all, he had the gun.

" They are gone!" Michael gestured his friends to enter the room.

Susan looked in despair at the empty room. There was no trace of Marcus or the Psi Cops. She walked to the couch and picked up the gun that had been meant to be the instrument of her death. All of a sudden a tear left her eye. She kneeled down and took the ranger pin in her hand, which must have fallen to the floor while Marcus had been fighting the Cops. Then the memory of feeling Marcus' mind signature returned to haunt her.

//I’m going to kill him!// She held on to her anger, afraid to give in to the hurt. The anger would keep her alive, keep her going.

Michael left her room to talk to the security teams that had arrived. He dispatched them into groups to search for the kidnapped ranger.

That gave John a chance to talk to Susan in private. " What happened?"  
" I don't know how they got in here, a man and a woman, Psi Cops. They were in my mind when I woke up. I was about to blow my head up when Marcus appeared from nowhere. " Susan looked John in the eyes, wondering about something. "Do you know he is a telepath?"

John was nervous to answer that question. He knew how unpredictable Susan could be. But he decided to be honest. " I found out 2 days ago, when he returned with Stephen. Apparently the White Star was attacked by Shadows and Marcus used his powers to drive them away. Susan, even Delenn didn't know he was a telepath. He practically begged us not to tell you. He wanted to do that himself. He was frightened to tell you. He isn't thrilled about his powers."

Susan took in all the information. Slowly her mind was recovering from the brutal assault. There was one more question burning her lips. " Does he know I am a latent?"

John hated being put in this situation. But now that the Cops had taken Marcus prisoner he felt he had no other option than the truth. " Yes, he said he knew it the first time he saw you and didn't want to scare you by telling you."

Susan swallowed hard. And yet he loved her? //And I love him!//She took a deep breath and forced herself to stay alert and reasonable. " We have got to find him!"

" Yes, do you have any idea what their plans are?"

Susan nodded. She too had heard the telepathic conversation. " They want to take him to Earth. It seems the Corps wants him as breeding material."

" Breeding material? Our Marcus?"

The look on John’s face made her laugh, no matter how bad the situation was. " Then they will be heading for the docking area. "

John took Susan’s arm and grabbed Michael in the process. " Michael, I think they are heading for the docking area."

They started to run towards the elevator to take them down. When the elevator doors opened they stared in the furious face of William Cole.

William Cole had been tapping into the security network for fun. He had been bored and wanted to see if he could still hack the computer system in this time. The message he had heard over the system had made him go into a frenzy. Psi Cops had kidnapped Marcus! William had smashed his fist to the wall, trying to deal with the immense anger building in him. He had replaced Damian as Marcus' bodyguard and on his first day on duty Marcus got kidnapped. Now he knew how Damian must have felt when he wasn't able to prevent Marcus from being assaulted by his own brother. William got out his pike and started to knock down imaginary opponents. He left Marcus' quarters and headed to Susan’s. He was glad he had had the time to get a map of the station. He had studied it till he knew where to find everything. He marched to the elevator and got aboard. He had promised to protect his brother and he had failed him. It seemed like hours before the elevator doors opened to reveal the shocked faces of John Sheridan and Susan Ivanova. " I take it we are going to hunt the bastards down who took him?"

Susan nodded and pulled John and Michael into the elevator, which would take them directly down to the docking area. Michael used his override abilities.

William watched Susan’s face. This woman was howling mad. The only thing he wasn't sure about was whom she was going to kill; the Cops or Marcus.

Susan felt his gaze and faced him. " Why did he not tell me he was a telepath?"

William moistened his lips. He was lost for words. " He was afraid. Marcus had a tough life and those telepathic abilities only made it worse. I suspect he hates having them. Don't be too hard on him. I will make you a deal."

Susan’s impatience showed. She was stamping her foot, creating a hollow ' thud ' sound.

" When we find him, you don't scream at him but at me. Then, when you have spit your venom go and talk to him." William disliked his own proposal but it made sense to him.

Susan considered the idea and decided she could give it a try. Will offered himself as her punching ball. " All right, but he will be in big trouble none the less!"

The elevator came to a halt.

" I have ordered to sweep the docking area without causing any suspicion and Zack told me they reported something queer in docking bay 7 T. Lets check that out first" Michael tapped his hand communicator to terminate the link to Zack Allen.

Susan got off the elevator first. William felt pity with the kidnappers. The intensity in Susan’s eyes was enough to make him feel relieved he was on her side.

 

Marcus stood rigid in Susan’s quarters. He was desperately trying to block the two Psi Cops who were determined to enter his mind. He realized that he couldn't possibly handle them both. One, he could block but the combined telepathic attack crushed him entirely. He saw Susan sneaking out of the room, out of reach of the two assassins Psi Corps sent. He had heard the remark about taking him to earth. The Cops didn't appear to be bothered with the fact that he wasn't an Earth-citizen.

< Inject the drugs. It will subdue his mind.>

Marcus knew that whatever was going to happen would be bad. He clung to the fact that Susan wasn't in danger anymore. He attempted to break free from their hold. He knew they wouldn't be able to keep up this kind of control over his mind for a longer period. The female approached and took out a kind of syringe, filled with a dark, green liquid. Marcus didn't know what it was but he guessed it would be some kind of sleepers, regularly used to make rogues submit to the Corps. The woman pressed the syringe to the back of his neck. The needle forced its way through the skin. He felt a sting and the woman injected the substance.

Marcus felt his knees go weak for a split second. A freezing cold spread through his body in a few seconds. It hurt when the drug took effect on his brain. It was like a knife twisting inside his mind, cutting the connections between his body, mind and brain. He felt like his mind, the part where his personality and feelings were anchored was driving back into a tiny section of his soul. Marcus attempted to scream but his mouth didn't open, no sound emerged from his lips. Then he remembered he had seen this happen before. It was during one of his missions. He had been sent to free a Psi Corps prisoner, a young man. The man had stood in the line of fire. Marcus had yelled at him to get to the ground, to prevent the chap from getting shot. But the man hadn't moved, he had just stood there, his eyes unmoving, not focused. The Cop shot him in the end. Marcus had heard the order the male Cop gave him. It had been a telepathic command. Marcus understood now why the prisoner had not moved when he had called out. The drug had been designed that the prisoner would only respond to telepathic orders. Marcus realized he was trapped in his own body, no longer master of his will, it terrified him.

< Follow her.>

Marcus started to walk. He didn't want to but he was no longer in command of his movements. The female Cop left Susan’s quarters. Marcus sensed the other Cop walking close behind him. There was no way out of this. They continued to march trough the corridors. Some people looked up and greeted him friendly.

< Nod to them, we don't want to draw any suspicion. You won't say a single word.>

Marcus' head moved with a will of his own. He yelled, mentally, in the corner where his mind was confined. Was there really no way out? Was everything he had been through recently been in vain? Would he lose Susan, so shortly after gaining her love? Would the rest of his life be like this? An imprisoned mind inside his body?

Marcus noticed they had reached the docking area. Should the Cops succeed in getting him off Babylon 5 his fate was sealed. He grasped the remains of sanity hiding in his mind, he was sure he was going crazy.

< Get into the shuttle.>

Marcus cringed at the telepathic voice in his head. It hurt. His feet moved on. He was now close enough to see the shuttle doors opened. Entering the shuttle would mean the end of the life as he knew it. He thought of Susan and regretted not having shared his secret with her earlier. The way she’d found out had never been his intention. Now, she would surely hate him.

 

" Move in on my signal only."

Susan had a hard time accepting orders from Sheridan. She wanted to blast the brains out of the Cops' heads, but she accepted he was in charge. She looked at the team that had spread out over the shuttle area. Michael, Sheridan, William and Zack Allen were ready to attack. There were several rangers keeping low profile, hiding, ready to help at the moment they were summoned. Michael had managed to find out on which shuttle the Cops had arrived. It had been a dangerous gamble to ambush the area.

Susan sensed William’s eyes on her. She looked at him. He tried to look reassuringly. They were too far apart to talk without being noticed. The moment the Cops set foot inside the docking area her eyes searched for Marcus. She raised walls around her mind, to fool the Cops.

Marcus was walking in the center. A Cop in front of him, the other behind him. Susan shuddered when she caught sight of his eyes. They were unmoving, hypnotized. She vaguely remembered those kind of eyes. Her mother had been like that. He’d been drugged.

She monitored every move Sheridan made, eager to attack the Cops and reclaim the man she loved more than life itself. She saw the shuttle doors open and wondered what Sheridan was waiting for.

William asked himself the same question. Marcus' eyes were eerie looking and he moved like a zombie, clumsy and stiff, his movements badly co-ordinated. The uniform Marcus was wearing reminded William that the Cops were kidnapping their Zha'lafi. They had to be stopped. He jumped out of hiding the moment Sheridan gave the sign to move in.

Susan, Sheridan, Michael aimed their guns at the shuttle, making sure the Cops wouldn't escape with Marcus. William had other plans. While the Cops began to return fire he ran towards Marcus who stood frozen in the line of fire. " Marcus, get down, damned!" William screamed as loud as humanly possible. He was shocked as Marcus didn't react and remained standing. The flashes of fired PPG-guns were getting too close to his body. William ran even harder to reach his brother. The male Cop aimed at Marcus and fired his gun. He leaped and grasped Marcus tightly, both of them falling to the hard floor.

Marcus' heart stopped beating for a second when he saw the PPG being fired at him. The Cop was really close and couldn't actually miss him. He prepared for the impact of pain when from the corners of his eyes Will appeared, jumping, throwing him down to the floor. Marcus tried to cry out but he still was paralyzed. He had to witness how Will got hit and remained laying on top of him, covering his body, protecting his brother. Marcus could only think of his brother. //Please, don't let him be mortally wounded, don't let him die. Not again...//

Will felt the pain in his left arm where he was hit. He checked the wound by looking at it quickly. It was only a scratch. Marcus was still not moving. Will shielded his brother from any other hits with his body. //We live and die for the one.// The thought entered his mind. How true it sounded now.

Marcus was in shock as blood flowed from Will’s body. He couldn't move his head to see where it was coming from, or how badly wounded his brother was. He released the little consciousness of mind he had left and started to fall in a deep abyss and passed out.

Will peeked at the Cops. The female was down. She was lying dead on the floor. The man was bleeding from the waist and threw away his gun, raised his arms in surrender. Susan was the first to reach the Cop. Will was almost amused when she punched the Cop out cold.

" Michael, put him in jail, question him when he comes around."

Sheridan and Susan walked quickly over to where Will and Marcus were. Will got back to his feet, clenching his teeth against the sharp pain in his arm.

Susan rushed to Marcus' side and knelt beside him. " Marcus, can you hear me?"

" I don't think so. He lost consciousness a few seconds ago." Will applied pressure to the wound, to keep it from bleeding.

" We better get you both to med lab." Sheridan made sure the Cop was taken care of and then turned his attention to his friends.

 

Stephen Franklin was mad as hell. He had been resting for 15 minutes when two patients were brought in, both named Cole. He handed Will to his colleague Doctor Hobbes and decided to treat Marcus himself. Susan was running about med lab One and driving Stephen nuts. He needed to concentrate on Marcus and looked at Sheridan. " Do me a favor, get her out of here. She is doing more harm than good."

" No, I am not leaving!" Susan clawed at the wall when Sheridan grabbed her and pushed her outside.

" Stay here and keep quiet." Sheridan forced her to sit down and sat beside her. He didn't want to risk her creeping back into med lab One again. He was relieved when Delenn arrived. Perhaps Delenn could calm her down. Susan was raving, cursing him for letting her wait on the corridor. Delenn had been warned by her rangers and had hurried down to med lab, Lennier following her. Sheridan rose, but kept an eye on Susan.

" I heard what happened, are they badly injured?"  
" Will was shot in his arm but it is a non-life-threatening wound. He should be just fine. Doctor Hobbes is tending to him."

" And Marcus?” Delenn looked again to Sheridan for an answer. Susan was still talking to herself in angry tones.

" I really don't know. Susan thinks the Cops hit him with some drugs. Stephen is examining him."

Delenn nodded, forced herself to remain calm. She knew Susan needed some one to comfort her even if she wouldn't admit it. Delenn put an arm around Susan’s shoulder who stopped talking and started to cry. Delenn took Susan to some chairs and held her.

 

" At last!" Stephen's eyes lighted up when he identified the drug inside Marcus' body. The ranger was still out and frankly, Stephen was glad about that. Marcus' whining always distracted him from work. He asked an assistant to bring him an antidote to counter the effects of the Psi Corps drug. He injected it gently and pulled up a chair to see if it would work. Marcus looked like he was in deep sleep. Doctor Hobbes and Will entered the room. His left arm was bandaged and in a sling. " I guess you are going to live?" Stephen smiled as Will looked at him in a rather stupid way.

" Yes. How is he?"

Stephen heard the concern in his voice. " We will have to wait and see. You better stay outside, Will. " Stephen looked at doctor Hobbes, his eyes asking her to take him to the party waiting outside.

Will nodded, stroked Marcus' hair and followed doctor Hobbes outside where he was greeted by Sheridan.

Stephen hooked Marcus up to a monitor so he could see any changes in his vitals. Then he settled down again in the chair. He didn't have to wait very long. Marcus' eyelids moved and he slowly opened his eyes.

Marcus felt that he was lying down and memories returned quickly. Where was Will? He tried to sit up, fully expecting being paralyzed. He moaned when he fell back to the bed, but he was able to move! His head was aching like hell and his eyes started to focus. He identified Stephen sitting next to him. That could only mean he was in med lab and that the Cops had been prevented from leaving with him. " Where is... Will? I... remember he was shot... Is he alive? Please... let him be alive!"

Stephen acted quickly and looked Marcus straight in the eyes. " It was only a scratch. William is waiting outside, together with Susan." Stephen had hoped Susan’s name would calm him down but that had been a miscalculation.

" Don't let her in, Stephen... don't..."

" It is all right, Marcus. I will tell her to wait to visit you, calm down." Stephen took hold of his shoulders, forcing Marcus to be still. " You need rest. I will go and update our friends and when I come back you can tell me whether you want to see them or not, does that work for you?"

Marcus nodded. His eyes closed and Stephen pulled up the blanket. He was not looking forward to telling Susan she had to wait. He was about to leave med lab One when Marcus called him back. His eyes open again.

" Will is ..."

" William is all right. He only needs to rest the arm for some weeks and then the two of you can start another fight," Stephen assured him again his brother was okay.

Marcus sighed and slipped into sleep.

 

Susan had composed herself again and had actually briefly hugged William when he showed up, accompanied by doctor Hobbes. The only thing left to do now was to wait for Stephen. The doors opened and Stephen appeared. Susan ran towards him. " How is he? Can I see him?" Susan wanted to run in there, but Stephen stopped her. Susan looked up at him, taken aback.

" I gave him an antidote. He is still a bit weak. He woke up seconds ago and he is sleeping again. Susan, it would be best for him if you allowed him a few hours of sleep." Stephen watched her face. It went from furious to beaten.

William stepped up to her and patted her on the shoulder, not sure what she would tolerate from him.

" But he will be fine?"

" Yes, Susan, but he needs some rest and so do you."

Susan knew he was right, Stephen was always right. " Can I sleep here? Med lab doesn't seem crowded."

" Me too?"

Stephen considered Susan and William’s request.

" Hey, you can't keep me out. I am his body guard!"

Stephen looked questioningly at Delenn. Delenn nodded her approval. " All right. There is a room where I crash while on duty. There are some extra beds in there." Stephen wisely gave in. That way he could keep an eye on Susan.

 

William felt how tired he was lying down. Susan had been quiet and William knew she was getting used to the idea that Marcus was a telepath.

" What is Marcus' rating?"

The question came from nowhere, Will certainly had not been expecting it. " Stephen said P11 or P12."

Susan was stunned. " That high?"

William shrugged. " Lets get some sleep and if I catch you sneaking out of here I am going to spank you." William intended it to be a joke and Susan picked up on it.  
" I promise to sleep. I know by now that Coles keep their words." Susan chuckled, sleep capturing her fast..

 

Marcus woke slowly. He knew right away he was in med lab. The headache had diminished and his mind was cleared from dark thoughts. He turned to lie on his right side, looking at the door. He was trying to reach a decision. He was in trouble now Susan knew that he was telepath. There were two things he could do. One, he could stay here, awaiting her wrath and his punishment or he could make a run for it. But he had been running for too long. Perhaps there was a third way out; making Susan accept the situation without losing his head.

Marcus managed to sit up, his legs dangled down the exam bed. He had been relieved to hear Will was okay. This idea of being his personal bodyguard could backfire again any time. He had to talk about this to Will. He wouldn't allow Will to die for him. Marcus put his feet to the floor, seeing if they could support his weight. Not that he was that heavy, he worried about his recent weight lose. He was far too skinny.

Marcus walked over to the door, checking the corridor. The last person he wanted to catch him during his escape attempt was Stephen. The coast was clear and he tiptoed out of med lab. His headache returned due to his efforts to get away. But it was bearable. He knew where he was headed and left med lab behind him.

 

Susan and William were woken by Stephen who appeared to be yelling at his staff. " How could you let him sneak out? You know him. It isn't the first time he pulled something like this!"

Susan had this terrible feeling she knew who had walked out of med lab. It had to be Marcus.

Stephen noticed his friends stepping outside into the corridor and went to them.

" Stephen, what is going on and the truth please!" Susan felt tired. Every time she thought her problems were over, Marcus created new ones.

" It seems our ranger didn't want to stick around any longer and sneaked out. I alerted security and Delenn. It can't be long before they find him again and then I am going to tie him down to that bed. I threatened to do that, but now I am determined to pull it off."

Susan turned to Will who seemed deeply in thought. He beckoned Susan and Stephen to follow him back into the room. Reluctantly they followed him.

" Will, we should be out there, searching for him." Susan hated being idle while Marcus was out there on his own.

Will sat down on a bed and rested his head in the palm of his hand, supporting his head. " Susan, before you act, you should think. I have known Marc my entire life and I never understood the way he thinks, but know I think I am getting there. Let us look at the problem at hand. Just bear with me."

Susan tapped her fingers on the table, creating an irritating sound. The moment William and Stephen looked at her she stopped. " Well, lets hear it!" She was growing impatient.

" You are a telepath."

Susan looked at him, had she told him? No way.

" It is fairly obvious, why else would the Cops come after you. You are rogue."

Susan sighed, her secret gone. " I’m a latent, but no way as strong as Marcus is."

" You have not yet confided in him. But Marcus knows." Will rose from the bed and stood in front of Susan. " He needs to know you can forgive him for not telling you. That’s why he ran. It is getting clearer all the time. He is hiding, but wants to be found. By you, Susan. You can locate him using the telepathic link you both undoubtedly have. By using your powers to find him he knows you have accepted the both of you being telepaths. Bugger, he is much more twisted that I imagined. This is something only Marcus can think of! "

" It makes sense to me." Stephen nodded. Marcus didn't think in straight lines.

Susan thought about Wills words. It was her biggest fear; using her telepathic powers and now it seemed Marcus forced her into it.

 

Marcus sat down on a bench in the gardens. He discovered a hidden spot, covered by all kinds of blossoming flowers. Their delicate fragrances filled the air and soothed his headache. He had briefly considered going to his quarters to rest but he was sure security guard or rangers looking for him would watch it. He didn't want to be found yet, not by them anyway. He hoped Susan figured out what his scheme was. He bent down and picked one of the flowers, a white lily. He lay it down on his knee, watching it.

Susan stood outside med lab, on her own again. Will had offered her his company but she had declined. This was something she had to do herself. She never used her ability this way before. She calmed her mind and focused on Marcus. < Marcus? Can you hear me? Where can I find you? Tell me where you are!> Susan desperately waited for some response. What if Will and Marcus had been wrong and she was too weak to find him this way? But she realized Marcus was strong enough to pick up her thoughts easily. She tried again. < Marcus Cole. I know you can hear me. You better answer me or you will be in even bigger trouble when I get to you!>

No words appeared in her mind. Marcus kept silent. Susan was getting mad. Then, all of a sudden she saw a flower in her mind. Flowers? She took the hint seriously. Flowers could only mean he was in the gardens. She marched to the elevator and sent one more message to Marcus. < If you haven't started answering me before I reach you I forget about thinking first before acting. Break that stupid silence or I...>

She wasn't able to finish her sentence when she heard a single word inside her mind.

< Susan?>

Marcus dropped the flower when he noticed her efforts to reach him. He could tell she was getting annoyed because he didn't answer her. The truth was he hadn't expected her to step over her personal boundary to find him. Now he was getting really scared, his courage leaving him quickly.

Susan saw him sitting on a bench, pale and tired. He appeared shaken. She felt the anger she had been keeping inside fighting a way to the surface. But she simply abandoned it. The Psi Corps attack had made her realize how fragile life was. They could have been killed. She didn't want to waste time by yelling at him. She wanted to be held by him and kiss him. < So, Marcus, satisfied?>

Marcus rose to meet her. His eyes big with disbelief. " You came to find me?"

< Off course, though you are a terrible pain in the ass I love you.>

" You do?"

< Marcus, you made me use these telepathic powers so I suggest you start doing the same thing. It looks rather stupid when you talk to me and I don't answer you.>

Marcus reached out to touch her hand. < You are not angry with me?>

< I wasn't completely honest myself. I didn't tell you I was a latent either.> Susan pulled him closer and laid her head on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. < You are not going to beat me up for this?>

< If you insist I am happy to do so.> Susan chuckled when he caressed her face. < You need to get back to med lab. You still have to deal with one mad Doctor Franklin.>

Marcus pulled her even closer. He had been so scared of losing her. < I will go with you. I had to know you were comfortable with me being a telepath.>

Susan knew he was honest. < I love you, Marcus.>

 

Will was absolutely charmed by Doctor Hobbes and had persuaded her to go on a date with him later that day. After that he went to keep Stephen company who was catching on the paperwork.

" I’m surprised you are not running about the station looking for Marcus. After all, you pride yourself on being his bodyguard!"

" I don't need to search. I got word from the rangers that he and Susan are in the gardens. Every step he makes is monitored closely."

" Is he still alive? The look in Susan’s eyes made me think she was going to kill him."

" Off course, he’s alive. I don't understand why everyone is so afraid of Susan Ivanova... Okay, she might act though but she has a soft interior."

Stephen laughed. He hoped Susan wouldn't discover how Will thought about her.

" Stephen, I return your patient to you."

Stephen looked up from his files as he heard Susan’s voice. Susan and Marcus were standing in the doorway, holding hands. " It was about time, get back to med lab One. I still need to run some tests on you."  
Marcus' eyes were shining with mirth and he allowed Stephen to take him back to his bed. He was obedient and laid down. Will entered the room last and saw the enchantment looks on Marcus and Susan’s face. " Will, I need to talk to you about being my body guard. You shouldn't be doing that. You could get killed." Marcus grimaced when Stephen hooked him up once more to the monitoring device.

Will wondered about how well everything had worked out. He was thankful to Jeffrey Sinclair that he had sent him through time. He had never conceived his brother as being the next Ranger One. He slightly bowed his head to Marcus, receiving a look of worry. " We live and die for the one, Marcus and you are going to live and lead the rangers when the time is right. So shut up and get better. I still want to become uncle and you lying on an exam bed in med lab won't do the trick."

Marcus blushed and was promptly rewarded by Susan who kissed him full on his lips. A sweet promise of the future they were bound to share together.

 

THE END


End file.
